Oh... I'm almost afraid to do a review like this because so many people like this movie. But on my integrity as a film reviewer, here I go. Please try to remember that the opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone. If you don't agree with them... so be it.
I... do not like this movie. I do not like it at all. I would not have liked it as a kid and I certainly do not like it now. I get why some people like it. If you were a kid when this film came out, or you are just a sucker for cheesy coming-of-age movies, or you just really want a movie like this and you have not watched Stand By Me, I can understand it. I, on the other hand, are none of these things, and I hate this film.
It is not cute or sweet or relatable or well-acted or well-paced or smart or funny or clever. Instead, it is clichéd and crude and energyless and boring and lifeless and limp and pandering. Pretty much everything about this film is pretty much everything I hate about movie. At times, it feels like it was designed to anger me and me alone.
Some people have called this film a kid's version of Stand By Me, which is wrong for two reasons. First, it is impossible to have 'a kid's version' of Stand By Me; that movie works because the audience is reliving their childhoods along with the narrator. Making it for kids makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. But I could forgive that except for reason two; all of Stand By Me's energy and realness is nowhere to be found.
That movie worked because the characters had real hopes and dreams and highs and lows and flaws. They seemed like real kids; not the corporate movie versions of kids. That movie reminded me how much I hated the kids around me when I was in elementary school. This movie reminds me how much I hated the kids in the movies they made us watch in elementary school. It is as manufactured as films get.
The cinematography is terrible. I, someone who has never shot a movie in my whole life, would probably not be that much worse at it than the group who made this film. It is minor grip, yes, but it represents how little effort went into making this movie artistic. There are a few shots of California. That is all. Stand By Me is a gorgeous movie, with its sweeping shots and careful framing. It envelops you and takes you on a journey. This film just stays put.
The characters don't go on much of a journey either. Stand By Me was a coming of age film, and an effective one at that. This film tries to do that, but it forgot to actually do the coming of age. Not much changes from the beginning of the film to the end. Don't let the ending monologue and its sweeping music fool you; not much of importance happened during the duration of the film. Even a film like Kiki's Delivery Service, where next to nothing happened plotwise, made the viewer feel like the characters had grown, like the hour and a half that they put into the film were actually worthwhile. This film? I'm terrible at baseball and my time would still be better spent on an actual sandlot.
There are so many holes in the plot. What if Smalls didn't drop the ball when he was dropping down from above? You'd be out of the last twenty minutes of the story. Normally, plot holes do not bother me at all, certainly not on a first viewing. But when the world fails to draw you in, everything falls apart; the veil of artistry is lifted.
I could go on ranting and raving for way too long. So I'll just issue one last complaint- the characterization is nonexistent. How hard is it to make the characters in a film interesting on at least a banal level; seriously? Make them stereotypes or overgeneralizations; just do something. How trite everything feels could be somewhat excused if you were actually seeing the film through the characters' eyes. But the characters are so two-dimensional that you can't.
Overall, everything in the film falls apart. It is as if someone took Stand By Me and hired some random joe to make something like it; and the random joe had no clue why SBM was great in the first place. I will never understand why this movie is so beloved. Nothing stands out; it is bad and boring. Except for the music, which is exceptional.
Again, I do not care if you like this movie. Everyone has their own opinion. But I have the right to voice mine. So there it is.
I... do not like this movie. I do not like it at all. I would not have liked it as a kid and I certainly do not like it now. I get why some people like it. If you were a kid when this film came out, or you are just a sucker for cheesy coming-of-age movies, or you just really want a movie like this and you have not watched Stand By Me, I can understand it. I, on the other hand, are none of these things, and I hate this film.
It is not cute or sweet or relatable or well-acted or well-paced or smart or funny or clever. Instead, it is clichéd and crude and energyless and boring and lifeless and limp and pandering. Pretty much everything about this film is pretty much everything I hate about movie. At times, it feels like it was designed to anger me and me alone.
Some people have called this film a kid's version of Stand By Me, which is wrong for two reasons. First, it is impossible to have 'a kid's version' of Stand By Me; that movie works because the audience is reliving their childhoods along with the narrator. Making it for kids makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. But I could forgive that except for reason two; all of Stand By Me's energy and realness is nowhere to be found.
That movie worked because the characters had real hopes and dreams and highs and lows and flaws. They seemed like real kids; not the corporate movie versions of kids. That movie reminded me how much I hated the kids around me when I was in elementary school. This movie reminds me how much I hated the kids in the movies they made us watch in elementary school. It is as manufactured as films get.
The cinematography is terrible. I, someone who has never shot a movie in my whole life, would probably not be that much worse at it than the group who made this film. It is minor grip, yes, but it represents how little effort went into making this movie artistic. There are a few shots of California. That is all. Stand By Me is a gorgeous movie, with its sweeping shots and careful framing. It envelops you and takes you on a journey. This film just stays put.
The characters don't go on much of a journey either. Stand By Me was a coming of age film, and an effective one at that. This film tries to do that, but it forgot to actually do the coming of age. Not much changes from the beginning of the film to the end. Don't let the ending monologue and its sweeping music fool you; not much of importance happened during the duration of the film. Even a film like Kiki's Delivery Service, where next to nothing happened plotwise, made the viewer feel like the characters had grown, like the hour and a half that they put into the film were actually worthwhile. This film? I'm terrible at baseball and my time would still be better spent on an actual sandlot.
There are so many holes in the plot. What if Smalls didn't drop the ball when he was dropping down from above? You'd be out of the last twenty minutes of the story. Normally, plot holes do not bother me at all, certainly not on a first viewing. But when the world fails to draw you in, everything falls apart; the veil of artistry is lifted.
I could go on ranting and raving for way too long. So I'll just issue one last complaint- the characterization is nonexistent. How hard is it to make the characters in a film interesting on at least a banal level; seriously? Make them stereotypes or overgeneralizations; just do something. How trite everything feels could be somewhat excused if you were actually seeing the film through the characters' eyes. But the characters are so two-dimensional that you can't.
Overall, everything in the film falls apart. It is as if someone took Stand By Me and hired some random joe to make something like it; and the random joe had no clue why SBM was great in the first place. I will never understand why this movie is so beloved. Nothing stands out; it is bad and boring. Except for the music, which is exceptional.
Again, I do not care if you like this movie. Everyone has their own opinion. But I have the right to voice mine. So there it is.