3/10
Worth seeing for Sabrina Siani, nothing else
26 June 2014
Umberto Lenzi, the pioneer of disturbingly gory cannibal films, directs. A strange change of pace for this director and the jungle genre. Be advised, this is a dumb, unfunny slapstick comedy-adventure with cardboard characters and comic book villains. There's even a comedic fat guy thug who constantly falls down or gets conked on the head. Hilarious. Probably better in the original Italian as the English dubbing is horrible.

Our heroes are a pair of knucklehead dudes from New York who seem to have wandered in from some frat-boy sex comedy (which were popular at the time). After pointlessly wasting a half-hour of screen time, they get stranded in the Amazon jungle -- which just happens to be full of African wildlife. They stumble across hostile natives, semi-comic-relief criminal goons hunting for rubies, and Luana, a beautiful blond jungle girl (Sabrina Siani from "White Cannibal Queen"). Luana cavorts with a chimp, swings on vines, talks to elephants, swims topless, and does a classic Tarzan yell. After getting an eyeful of Luana, one guy says: "Edgar Rice Burroughs got it all wrong." (That's the funniest line in the film.) The dopey dialog is loaded with wisecracks that reference other films ("you got it all over Bo what's-her-name"). She grew up alone after her parents perished following a helicopter crash-landing. Among the many implausible plot points is the repair of the helicopter that's been rusting away for 16 years. We're also supposed to believe these clueless dolts can somehow refine crude oil sludge into gasoline without any technology. Okay, whatever...

The only saving grace is the absolutely gorgeous Sabrina Siani, one of the most appealing and sexy jungle girls to come down the pike. She wears a skimpy leather top and a barely-there thong that hides none of her fabulous caboose. Siani has the kind of perfect posterior that anthropologists should study and document for future generations. Fortunately, we have this film. Everything else in this dreadful "Sheena" rehash is instantly forgettable.
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