Review of Taken

Taken (I) (2008)
1/10
Everything I hate in a movie
4 October 2013
Warning: Spoilers
My wife and I enjoyed predicting exactly what the next scene would hold. Here is what we found most objectionable:

A. The Hero can do absolutely everything. He needs no team and could destroy any army single-handedly, because:

1. He never misses. 2. The enemy never hits, because they are Standard Issue Henchmen. 3. The enemy always comes at him one at a time, because the director must like 60s kung-fu movies. 4. The enemy security agents have no training.

B. The Albanians don't question the fact that an Englishman with a reasonable facsimile of an American accent is shaking them down, with only a possible stolen business card to back his position.

C. All the other dead people are just nameless-faceless ciphers to be deposed of by the Hero in pursuit of the only person that matters, the daughter. The movie has a supposedly nice happy ending, but there are several parents of dead abducted prostitutes morning their equally valuable daughters.

D. Someone must have told Morel that Albanians don't send a shiver of repulsion down American spines, like they might do in Italy. Better add some dastardly A-rabs.

E. Even French workmen won't line up to have sex with drugged out, track-marked prostitutes. There are plenty of those available in every European train station.

F. Albanians aren't going to jeopardize a working business model, which has been going on for decades, of getting nice, reasonably educated and attractive Eastern European girls to work in the western Europe sex industry. Getting wealthy American and western European parents,, with possible high level connections, would be bad for business.

G. Of course, Liam Neeson's daughter commands 500k, for some inexplicable reason.
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