Love Bite (2012)
2/10
Love Bite
29 March 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I saw the trailer for this film, and it did look like it could be a funny film, and it was described as being something for The Inbetweeners audience, so I was kind of surprised to see the lowest of low ratings, from director Andy De Emmony (Kenneth Williams: Fantabulosa!). Basically summer has begun just after school is over for the students in the town of Rainmouth, the dead-end seaside town; some of the students include a group of teenage friends, Jamie (Eragon's Ed Speleers), Kev (Luke Pasqualino), Bruno (Robin Morrissey) and Spike (Daniel Kendrick). Jamie is bored to hell and forced into working for his pothead mother Natalie (Kierston Wareing) at her B&B, while the other guys seem happy working in the pie factory, but they are concentrating more on trying to get sex. Desperate to get out there, and when he gets the chance to every so often, Jamie is out on their nights as well, and at a party he meets beautiful, smart and sexy Juliana (Piranha 3D's Jessica Szohr) from America, but soon after her arrival strange things are happening in the village. This includes many teenagers going missing, and there is rumour of a werewolf in the town, and it is revealed that those missing teens were virgins, and the beast is only hunting for virgin flesh, Sid (Timothy Spall) seems to be the one hunting it. The assumed werewolf hunter is staying at the B&B, and warns Jamie about the werewolf, that he should stay away from Juliana, who Jamie is smitten with, and that he should lose his virginity as soon as possible. For a while he ignores this advice and continues to try and get closer to his new love interest, she does like him very much, but at times seems to try and avoid him for some reason, and eventually he and his friends realise the werewolf threat is true, and that they should pop their cherry quickly to stay safe. Thinking that Juliana may not have any feelings for him, and then later believing Sid's theory that she is the beast, Jamie tries to have sex with the person who has been begging him to shag her, fat and unpleasant Alicia (Rosie Sansom), but he doesn't go ahead with this, and he fails other attempts with some other girls. It turns out the American love interest is not the werewolf, she is in fact a werewolf hunter who provides the service of taking the virginity from people so they will be safe from the danger, but knowing that she has to save lives she cannot give into any feelings she may or may not have for anyone. In the end the werewolf kills Sid who attempts to end the terror, it is cornered and killed by Jamie with a silver spiked arrow, and he finally embraces his feelings with Juliana who is also smitten with him, so he loses his virginity as well with the woman he loves. Also starring Robert Pugh as Sergent Rooney, Imogen Toner as Mandy and Paul Birchard as Reverend Lynch. I agree with the critics that the first half of the film is pretty dreadful with the immature and crude material, a few scenes in the second half has the more material that could have made the film worthwhile, the concept was good sounding, it's just the execution, there wasn't much that made me laugh, and it was not thrilling either, it is a disappointingly terrible British comedy horror. Pretty poor!
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