Watching the comedy "The Watch", I thought to myself that this is definitely not a training video on how to properly conduct a successful neighborhood crime watch program; it is actually its antithesis. However, I kept watching "The Watch"; first of all, because I have a cinematic golden rule that I must finish every film I start watching no matter how atrocious it is, but most of all because at the end of the day it is just a movie and not to be taken too seriously. "The Watch" stars Ben Stiller as Evan, a Costco manager who discovers that his night security guard Antonio has been murdered on the job. Evan decides to start up a Neighborhood Crime Watch program in his community to help catch Antonio's killer; which is a definite "no no" why someone should start a Neighborhood Watch program, it really should be to be the "eyes and ears" of the community and help out law enforcement, not to be a "citizens on patrol" group which is another concept altogether. Evan gets very little participation on his Neighborhood Watch participation, except for the zany Bob (Vince Vaughn) and the disturbed Franklin (Jonah Hill) who decide to join the Watch. And then we get the eccentric Jamarcus (Richard Ayoade) to round up Evan's Neighborhood Crime Watch Quartet. Bob's reason to join is to escape his home existence and bond with the guys. Franklin's goes into it more with a vigilante approach much so because of his past failed attempts to be a law enforcement officer. I will leave Jamarcus' reasoning disclosed for now, you just have to watch. In all, no Neighborhood Crime Watch employee should ever provide these guys a Crime Watch sign after they establish their phone chain. Confused? Sorry, just talking a bit Neighborhood Crime Watch protocol here, I got connections. There is plenty of silliness involved in "The Watch", especially when an alien storyline invades this movie; which was quasi-comical but mostly inane. It seemed at times that Director Avika Schaffer had a bit too many Schaefer beers while constructing "The Watch", and I think his drinking buddies were his Screenwriters Seth Rogen, Jared Stern, and Evan Goldberg. Sure their screenplay did deliver a few zingers but not enough to protect "The Watch" from LSD (Ludicrous Script Development). Stiller, Vaughn, Hill, and Ayoade should not watch out for acting awards to head their way for their performances here; even though I do think that Mr. Vaughn was really the best thespian block captain of the bunch. Sorry, wanted to deliver more Neighborhood Crime Watch terminology; again, I have connections. Also, there were not many good signs to post up on Rosemarie DeWitt's work as Evan's embryo impatient wife Abby, and of Will Forte's performance as the pestering Sgt. Bressman of the local police department. "The Watch" is not the worst comedy you will watch, and it does have its moments, but I do advise that you might be robbed of some valuable time of your personal existence. *** Average
