ironhorse_iv Review of Illegal Aliens

Illegal Aliens (2007)

Men are from Mars, Anne Nicole Smith & Chyna are from Uranus: they stink!

[2/10 · 14 November 2012]

Why was this "movie" thought of, made into a script, approved to be made, and carried out? According to the tag line, the movie 'Ilegal Aliens' is supposed to Men in Black meets Charlie's Angels! Yeah, right. It's worst, it's a steaming pile of you know what. Don't worry, Anna Nicole Smith will make farting and urinating sounds to remind you of what type of movie, you're watching. Ilegal Aliens is just awful. Illegal Aliens is a science fiction film starring Anna Nicole Smith and Joanie "Chyna" Laurer. Here we have two of the most plastic, phony women the world has ever known.in one movie with little to no plot. Guided by a holographic mentor Syntax from a space agency. Three agents including Anne Nicole Smith as Lucy are sent down to protect the earth from a intergalactic terrorist Rex (Joanie Laurer). The three aliens take the form of beautiful American women ditching their default ET forms. Anne Nicole Smith is a hybrid, dumb blonde with child voice spitting out random stupid lines ranging from Shakespeare to celeb pop lines. Little is different between her character and her real life self. The other two actresses Lenise Soren and Glady Jimerez are just there to be the straight girls fit in the nonsense sex and crotch jokes from the oddball characters that Anne and Joanie play in the movie. Joanie Laurer plays Rex- a male alien in a female body. We get from Chyna, overacting evil laughing, facial expression, and bad bad jokes. There are a lot of satirical and "breaking the fourth wall" jokes that would work better in a better spoof. The film has one of the worst CGI ever, if it's suppose to be a tribute to the B-movies sci fi's special effects, it's just works to make it look bad. Seriously, it's like they just threw whatever stock models they had against a space background like flying pigs. Not only in the space, but in the explosion they used in this film is stock footage. Half the movie is either fiery explosions or stock footage of buildings imploding as well. This movie marks the last movie for Anne Nicole Smith who died a year later over a drug overdose. She was a model "actress" who married a 100 year old billionaire for his money and tried to get it when he croaked and she did a lot of drugs and drinking and had a reality show. The end. She wasn't the greatest, she wasn't a great role model, and she wasn't that great of a person or actress. The saddest part of Anna Nicole's death is that the public are robbed of fine film performances such as this one. Imagine all the direct-to-video discount bin films we'll never see now at your local Wal-Mart. What a shame.