Alien Species (1998)
1/10
beneath incompetence
18 August 2012
Warning: Spoilers
The /film itself/ is a spoiler (ie, something that spoils things, such as the viewers' mental balance), but as I describe how the heroes are able to avoid being killed by the aliens, I've marked this review with a spoiler alert.

The portmanteau title -- "Alien" + "Species" -- is supposed to confuse potential viewers as to the provenance of this gobbler. Of course, "Species" is pretty bad, so if you're trying to ride the coattails of another film, you should at least pick a good one.

"Alien Species" suggests what Ed Wood Jr might have churned out on a decent budget. The script is nothing but quadruply recycled clichés and shopworn "humor" thrown together as rapidly as the writer could type them, without the charm (???) of Ed Wood's amusing non-sequiturs.

I especially liked the way Our Heroes find a remote control that shuts off the force field surrounding the alien ships -- at which point they can be destroyed by what is (relative to the ships) small-arms fire. (Bright aliens, these.) It resembles a tarted-up BIO-BUG remote control. There's no explanation of why the dozens of alien ships don't just gang up on the humans and (as Dr Crab would say) "reduce them to icky grey slime".

The 1996 special effects are, surprisingly, not at all bad, even by current standards. The result is that they make the rest of the film look even worse than its already low, low level of quality.

If you want to avoid brain damage or digestive convulsions (that's the polite way of putting it), avoid this film.
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