5/10
Fails to Redeem anything
18 February 2012
Remember that Conan ripoff star vehicle for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson? Be honest with yourself and know that it was NOT "A" grade cinema. Nothing beyond a fun but shallow summer blockbuster. It was enjoyable, had great fight scenes, good humor and Dwayne Johnson himself as Mathyus the scorpion king, but far from what is normally considered "award winning". Then came a prequel with Mathyus as a kid which felt like a pilot movie for Young Hercules. So bad it was that It could only have tanked. Now for some reason, Universal has gone back to the franchise and given us the very appropriately named "Scorpion King 3: battle for Redemption". Hoping to redeem the franchise, this film only buries it deeper.

Promising to bridge the gap between The Scorpion King and the prelude to "The Mummy Returns", Mathyus looses his kingdom and his queen. No, he does not becoming a wandering warlord out to exact bloody vengeance upon the world (as implied by The Mummy Returns). Instead he returns to his old mercenary ways and takes a contract from King Horus (Ron "I need the cash badly" Perlman) to stop his brother Talus (Billy "ham who doesn't give a crap" Zane) from conquering a kingdom in the far east and possessing the fabled "Book of the Dead".

Now the main gripe with this film is that not only does it not provide a proper bridge between The Scorpion King and The Mummy Returns, it fails to develop its own story into anything remotely like the first Scorpion King film. For starters, there's Mathyus who is now played by Canadian actor Victor Webster. While he does have the build, he lacks the presence of personality that Dwayne Johnson brought to the role. Furthermore, his Mathyus seems to be wholly unaffected by his tragic past. Did not the narrator say he was a broken man longing for a glorious death? Instead he's the same sarcastic, cynical, smiling idiot he's always been.

In scraping the bottom of the creativity barrel, the writers present one of the most confusing plots. They have Mathyus team up with the warrior Olaf (played by Bostin Christopher looking like a bad Jack Black impersonator) and travel to Thailand to save king Jango Fett (actually King Ramusan, but really he is played by the same dude who played Jango) and his daughter. While in Thailand, they have to fight Talus' army of what looks like Roman legionnaires, a resistance group of ninjas, and a demonic trio comprising of Voodoo Mcbruiser, a Shao Khan wannabe and a white haired witch from Chinese wuxia movies.

This movie lacks everything that the first Scorpion King film had. Even the prequel Scorpion King 2 at least had Russell Mulcahy as director; his tracking shots and wide crane panning sequences lending a dynamic feel to an otherwise insipid movie. Roel Reine's directing is standard action movie fare; lots of quick cuts, close ups, half body shots and the mandatory slow motion.

Billy Zane's character makes a nice quote that sums up the Scorpion King franchise at this point, "I will rise again like a bad idea.". Yes, this is an actual quote from the film. Thank you scriptwriters. Thanks to yet another bad idea, we have a wholly unnecessary entry to a dying franchise that never delivers on what it promises. The battle for redemption ends in utter failure.
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