The Roommate (I) (2011)
1/10
An embarrassment on the face of horror
24 June 2011
Lacking in suspense, answers, and any enjoyment from its "horror" label it's boasting, The Roommate is easily one of the worst thrillers in recent memory. It provides no backstory or any chemistry from the cast, and manages to drag on for ninety-one minutes. When a movie makes you think a ninety-one minute run time is insufferable, wow is it bad.

The Roommate's biggest problem is that it is one big tease. It is stamped with a PG-13 rating, when it could've passed for a PG in 1982. There is a shower scene that is incredibly drawn out, and desperately wants to show below the waist and higher than the stomach but can't. It doesn't want to be racy or good. The makeout scenes could very well win the worst sex award as well.

The plot is a girl named Sara (Kelly) is starting College and gets a new dorm. Simple enough. She seems normal; tattoo of her deceased sister on her breast (wouldn't be surprised if when she was having sex with someone they screamed out "Emily" by accident), wants to learn, make new friends, simple. Much to her surprise, she returns home from the club to find she has a new roommate named Rebecca (Meester) an uneasy adolescent who becomes increasingly fascinated with her roommate. She begins to go through her things and be very overprotective about her. Then Sara discovers why she is the way she is.

My one question to the people behind this - why don't we get backstory on Rebecca? Why doesn't the film focus more on her? She is easily the more interesting one, and when we do find out the secret, we assume more backstory will brew. Negatory. None. We are just as clueless as we were. The minor clue towards the end doesn't help matters, and only turns them into a convoluted barrage of questions.

There is an animal murder, and like in Drag Me To Hell, it's horrifying. Why do horror movies these days portray an animal in danger or helplessness? Why do even the crazy harm animals? Let alone why is it incorporated in the film? She could've just let the animal loose and things would still play out the same. Nope. We have to witness another dreadful and upsetting animal murder for no apparent reason.

No character in this movie is likable either because no one is developed to that point. The main character's parents aren't even mentioned, or called once in the film. But her dead sister and her ex boyfriend get mentions. Plus I can tell right now Minka Kelly, a beautiful woman, is sporting too much of a Jessica Alba/Megan Fox look. Her hair looks darkened and her lipstick looks like a Fox tribute. Her Alba-like face is natural, obviously. I'm pretty sure she is aware of it too.

The Roommate is exactly what is wrong with modern day horror movies. There is no contrived suspense or anything to make this even the slightest bit likable. Even Billy Zane who was good in The Final Destination can't make this miserable mess any better. If had an R rating it may have been a little bit more tolerable, but I'm doubtful on that. It is Fatal Attraction mixed with Single White Female, and it creates a disastrous and lame film.

Starring: Leighton Meester, Minka Kelly, Cam Gigandet, Billy Zane, and Alyson Michalka. Directed by: Christian E. Christiansen.
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