Ba'al (2008 TV Movie)
1/10
Turkey with Cheese
28 January 2011
This must be the only movie with serious pretensions that exceeds in cheesiness Steve Martin's production in the movie "Bowfinger". To be fair, the people who made Ba'al may have had a smaller budget than Steve Martin's character had. Let's face it, the Black Sea doesn't really resemble an inlet on the West Coast of Canada. After all, it's a SEA, people. Sebastopol isn't ever visible from Turkey, not even on a clear day. Plus BC Parks information boards don't mark archaeological sites on the Turkish Black Sea. Plus, the construction crew look as if they're right out of a bar in Prince George, BC rather than Turks. Finally, the Dead Sea Scrolls are kept in Jerusalem. They're so important to the Jewish people that Israel doesn't let them out of the country, not even on tour. They have squat to do with Sumeria and the Hebrew alphabet was invented a millennium later. The Sumerians wrote on clay in cuneiform. Finally, the Dead Sea Scrolls are not written on stiff hand-tooled cowhide. They're written in ink on fragile sheepskin parchment that sometimes took a year to unroll. See them for yourself at the Shrine of the Book.

I can forgive a low budget if the actors and screen writers turn in a decent effort. Nobody shows up for work in this turkey. The actors don't even try to make the stilted dialogue work. Lexa Doig turns in a particularly shameful performance, substituting a deer-in-the-headlights expression for emotion. The script writing appears to be the result of a committee. (OK on the rogue geologist versus the military, Mort but we also need a dying Indiana Jones plus we'll have four McGuffins, not one.) I could go on but you get the idea. See this only if you want to add more goofs to the list.
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