1/10
Gloriously bad
21 October 2010
Warning: Spoilers
This is one of those gems that's so hilariously bad that the MST3K commentary can only detract. Do yourself a favor and watch the original.

Where to start? First there's the title. We're told by the narrator that robots rose up "by the billions" against their human masters; however, there are only a handful of robots and one of them is with the good guys. The chief bad guy is "Dark One", who is not a robot at all. Rather, he's a blob in the spirit of those things that bet "quatloos" on Earthings in that old Star Trek episode. The Dark One uses a "power plant" to control the air quality so he can enslave humans so they can work in the power plant so he can control the air quality so he can enslave them, etc, etc...beyond that he's doesn't seem to have much of a plan.

This film has pretty much everything that's ever appeared in a post- apocalyptic sci fi movie: robots, radiation, mutants, amazons, (some) gratuitous nudity, bad hair, and even a giant spider, thrown in in more or less random order. There is, however, a notable lack of Mad Max style vehicles and chases. I'm sure this was a bitter disappointment to the director, but clearly even even if they had magically been able to score a couple of cars, the required street shoot permits would have been way, way beyond their budget.

Which brings us to production quality. Most of the props look like they were bought at Spencer's gifts. No, really, there's even a plasma globe! Most of the shoots were done in Central Park (there's even a sign that says "Central Park"), and a couple of basements. The "cave worms" rank with Ed Wood's flying saucers and Ray Milland's head on Rosy Greer's shoulder for least convincing effects. On the other hand, the fight where the plastic heads fly is pretty good, too. They couldn't afford to go to an actual power plant, so they use a badly painted backdrop.

And ah, Angelika Jager. Beautiful, but perhaps the worst actress ever to appear in film. She mumbles though her lines in a thick German accent sounding like she's just slammed a bottle of schnapps. I can easily imagine that the director met her in a bar and cooked up the whole movie as a plan to sleep with her. That's about the only explanation that makes sense for any of it.

I could go on, but you really need to see this for yourself.
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