All right, it's not a bad movie, but it's not a good movie either. Here's the thing, it's not an Indiana Jones movie. I don't care if Indiana Jones is in it, his name is in the title, and Harrison Ford plays the title character, it's NOT an Indiana Jones movie.
It all comes down to style. Indiana Jones had style. He was a rugged adventurer with grit, wit, and grim determination. He was clever, quick witted, and good in a fight. And to his credit, Harrison Ford plays an aged version of Indy very well, almost too well, to the point where I can't tell if it's a script line about him being tired of it all, or if he's actually griping about being in the movie.
But this movie has no style, and little substance. The plot reads like an X-Files adventure without the atmosphere. It's more like a sequel to the Mummy, or Tomb Raider. This is Indiana Flippin' Jones! If you can't be bothered to at least try, why should I be bothered to pay? This is the fundamental flaw in Hollywood. They don't understand bad from good.
Everything about this story is rushed together with little cohesion or intelligence. There's almost no detective work, no startling revelations, and the first ten minutes spends more time insulting my intelligence than entertaining me. Yes, I see the ark there, how clever. Oh, they stored it in Area 51, yes, cute. Oh, good, some barely mentioned subplot about Red Paranoia. And Indy survives a nuclear bomb test by hiding inside a fridge? This isn't Indiana Jones, this is asinine! Oh, and whoever cast Shia Lebouf as Indy's son (YES, INDIANA JONES'S SON!) should be beaten with a hammer.
Here's the problem, Indiana Jones is a legend in and of himself. Now I didn't expect this movie to be good, but I at least expected it to be an Indiana Jones movie. I don't even care about the aliens, the green screen special effects, or the Russians as the bad guys. Indiana Jones doesn't get married, he dies a heroes death like a real man would! He vanishes mysteriously leaving a long lost son/pupil/apprentice to find him and take the torch from. He doesn't marry the girl from the first movie just so we can rob the franchise of what little dignity it had left after the LEGO version. This is not an Indiana Jones movie, and both Spielberg and Lucas should have their money taken away until they sit down and make this movie properly.
It all comes down to style. Indiana Jones had style. He was a rugged adventurer with grit, wit, and grim determination. He was clever, quick witted, and good in a fight. And to his credit, Harrison Ford plays an aged version of Indy very well, almost too well, to the point where I can't tell if it's a script line about him being tired of it all, or if he's actually griping about being in the movie.
But this movie has no style, and little substance. The plot reads like an X-Files adventure without the atmosphere. It's more like a sequel to the Mummy, or Tomb Raider. This is Indiana Flippin' Jones! If you can't be bothered to at least try, why should I be bothered to pay? This is the fundamental flaw in Hollywood. They don't understand bad from good.
Everything about this story is rushed together with little cohesion or intelligence. There's almost no detective work, no startling revelations, and the first ten minutes spends more time insulting my intelligence than entertaining me. Yes, I see the ark there, how clever. Oh, they stored it in Area 51, yes, cute. Oh, good, some barely mentioned subplot about Red Paranoia. And Indy survives a nuclear bomb test by hiding inside a fridge? This isn't Indiana Jones, this is asinine! Oh, and whoever cast Shia Lebouf as Indy's son (YES, INDIANA JONES'S SON!) should be beaten with a hammer.
Here's the problem, Indiana Jones is a legend in and of himself. Now I didn't expect this movie to be good, but I at least expected it to be an Indiana Jones movie. I don't even care about the aliens, the green screen special effects, or the Russians as the bad guys. Indiana Jones doesn't get married, he dies a heroes death like a real man would! He vanishes mysteriously leaving a long lost son/pupil/apprentice to find him and take the torch from. He doesn't marry the girl from the first movie just so we can rob the franchise of what little dignity it had left after the LEGO version. This is not an Indiana Jones movie, and both Spielberg and Lucas should have their money taken away until they sit down and make this movie properly.