Review of Surrogates

Surrogates (2009)
1/10
Unbearable
2 October 2009
This has to be the worst sci fi movie since Twister. I honestly cannot think of a single redeeming quality in this film. The starting premise itself was a stretch - 98% of the people in the future use surrogates. There is absolutely nothing in this world that 98% of the people agree on, not to mention a surrogate would be an expensive piece of machinery which not everyone could afford. The plot involves Bruce Willis playing a his tired "rebel-cop" persona (only looking strangely like Robbie Rotten from Lazy Town when he is in "surrogate self") and stumbling upon various conspiracies involving VSI (corporation producing surrogates), the military (of course), and the inventor of surrogates (who apparently in all his genius cannot figure an obvious explanation for his son's death and needs Bruce Willis to point it out to him). The subplot of the movie involves reservations where surrogates are not allowed and shot on sight, even if they are law enforcement surrogates. How the government decided to waive their sovereignty to a bunch of regressionist secessionists is not explained. The regressionist reservations are filled with clichéd fat hillbillies and are led by Ving Rhames with dreadlocks, who delivers his lines with a passion of a low level politician reading off a teleprompter. There are other problems that I can go into such as surrogates being strong enough to withstand collision with a car yet falling apart under the force of Bruce Willis' bare fists, as well as the non-nonsensical robot beauty salons, but if I describe every hole in the plot, I will probably have to post the entire film's screenplay. So I'll just cut to the chase: the story is absurd, the action is OK at best, the dialogue is bland in some parts, laughable in others, and the ending is meaningless.

If you want to see a decent sci fi movie, check out Pandorum instead.
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