zetes Review of Ninja Cheerleaders

Ninja Cheerleaders (2008)

Semi-softcore porn, but none of the lead actresses even get nekkid

[3/10 · 7 September 2009]

Now this one was pretty insulting, though, honestly, going into a movie called Ninja Cheerleaders you know what you're getting into. Still, the description on the On Demand channel was hard to resist: three college girls are cheerleaders and students by day, but by night they are either ninjas or strippers. Depends on the night. Both of those professions, however, have the same employer, the girls' karate instructor Hiroshi, played by none other than George Takei. Kind of creepy, as the implication is that Sulu has been training these girls in the martial arts since they were children, and then later employed them at his strip club (so they can raise the money to go from their community college to Brown). The action is laughably awful. Most of the acting is actually better than one would expect. The three leads, Trishelle Cannatella, Ginny Weirick and Maitland McConnell are never going to win an Oscar, but they're acting is far above porn star acting. And at least they're attractive. The biggest bummer here is that the three cuties never show their breasts. They get down to lingerie. So as not to tease the audience too much, director Presley throws in some fancy wipes to real strippers for no particular reason as the scenes transition. This is most definitely schlock, but it kind of reminded me of the good old days of late night HBO or USA Up-All-Nite.