Review of Watchmen

Watchmen (2009)
4/10
Zack Snyder is a 13 year old boy
2 July 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I held off on watching Watchmen for a long time. This is Alan Moore's epic, and you'd think that having a storyboard already worked out for you would help even a hack like Snyder get it right. With three hours to work with, even this complicated epic should be able to be competently told.

The first five minutes included an unnecessary fight scene. Then there was the opening title that went on forever with a song that served to insult the intelligence of anyone over fourteen years old. The soundtrack is hideous, completely failing to capture the mood of any scene. Scenes that should have been subtle and understated were overblown and expanded. Scenes that were expanded and intense were shortened and robbed of depth.

The rape scene was extended for no visible purpose other than, apparently, to beat a woman up. The single coolest moment in Rorschach's history was changed to be more brutal, and less intelligent. In the first two hours of this movie, a full forty minutes could have been cut and nothing would have been lost.

Too much emphasis was put on sex, gore, visual effects, 'cool' shots, and insulting our intelligence with extra scenes and back story that changed a LOT of the characters motivations. Important lines and scenes were left out.

I give this movie a 4 out of ten for at least getting the basic story right, and giving good visuals to some scenes that actually do make an impact. But overall... don't watch the Watchmen. Read the graphic novel. Ironically... it's less graphic. But it has a better ending.
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