I caught Chandni Chowk to China in my local theater today, and went in with medium expectations (I was wary of an Akshay Kumar tent-pole after Singh is Kingh)
But this movie is an all time low for commercial movies, and a career ruining highlight for Akshay Kumar. Chandni Chowk to China is riddled with a highly disjointed and nonsensical plot, mostly awful and unfunny gags, and unbelievable decisions that makes this the first disaster of 2009.
The highly pretentious and over-complex plot goes something like this - Years ago, there was a Chinese warrior named Liu Sheng, who was killed by an evil ruler called Hojo. Prophecy says that he would be reborn in a different state and country years later.
Cut to present day, and we have Sidhu (Akshay Kumar), a failed cook who tries hard at being lucky but is conned by people. One day, through a string of convoluted sequences, a group of Chinese people in India recognize him as Liu Sheng. A conman, friend to Sidhu, scams him and tells him that he is the reborn ruler of China, which makes him happy and excited to go to China and change his luck. But when he realizes his true identity, the fate of China's rule depends on him.
From here on, the plot turns into something out of four completely different stories jammed into one, with half the pages missing. I dare you to make sense out of this highly convoluted storyline (SPOILERS FOLLOW)- A TV ad girl called Sikhi (Deepika) fools Sidhu at the route to China, and visits there instead. When Sidhu finally reaches China, he finds a revamped Sikhi, who's called Meow Meow, a twin sister of Sikhi. Turns out their parents were killed by Hojo at some point, and Sikhi escaped to India and Meow wants to avenge their death. But wait, halfway through the movie, we find out their father is alive, but has lost his memory of being a policeman, and now is an old beggar. When Meow finds out Sidhu is Liu Sheng, she tries to kill him (WHY she would do that is never explained, and instead of simply stabbing/shooting him, she decides to put acid on her lips and try kissing him.) But wait, she fails, and through more convoluted events, Sikhi sees Meow whom she presumed died ages ago. And wait, Hojo realizes Liu Sheng is here as Sidhu, so he publicly slaughters Sidhu's guardian who happens to be in China at that moment in front of Sidhu (why he didn't kill Sidhu himself, we'll never know). Defeated, Sidhu meets the FATHER of the twins who then REGAINS his memory of being a POLICE OFFICER through unfunny comic events, and decides to TRAIN Sidhu with Kungfu. I could go on with numerous huge plot holes and laughable action sequences for the sake of them, but to cut short, more nonsensical events follow, leading to the overblown and imbalanced climax of this mess.
Akshay Kumar's antics, unfortunately, do not save the movie this time. The only two redeemable moments of the movie are his final training sequence (that manages to be hilarious), and a few scenes on his way to China. The rest of the movie tries hard at being a slapstick comedy as well as a action drama, but falls flat on both levels. There are moments where the characters are supposed to be serious, but they act comic (such as after the death of his guardian and the final fight). Deepika gives one of the worst female acting I have seen anywhere. Her twin persona falls flat, but the blame is entirely on the disastrous script.
It's as if the filmmakers didn't even try. At all. First it is shown to be a fist-fight kung-fu movie, then in the middle of it, it turns into Akshay Kumar and Hojo having magical powers, including one where they LIFT WATER OFF THE SEA. These moments, supposedly trailer shots for the sake of showing the budget and CGI, instead end up being laughable and amateur. Dozens of huge problems in believability aren't explained, and the movie sags along to it's finale, hoping the audience won't notice.
Overall, Chandni Chowk to China should be avoided by almost anyone looking for even a mindless entertainer, except for die hard Akshay Kumar fans. Even then, you will end up feeling cheated and disappointed throughout the movie, and wonder how so many problems were overlooked during this rushed production.
3 out of 10.
But this movie is an all time low for commercial movies, and a career ruining highlight for Akshay Kumar. Chandni Chowk to China is riddled with a highly disjointed and nonsensical plot, mostly awful and unfunny gags, and unbelievable decisions that makes this the first disaster of 2009.
The highly pretentious and over-complex plot goes something like this - Years ago, there was a Chinese warrior named Liu Sheng, who was killed by an evil ruler called Hojo. Prophecy says that he would be reborn in a different state and country years later.
Cut to present day, and we have Sidhu (Akshay Kumar), a failed cook who tries hard at being lucky but is conned by people. One day, through a string of convoluted sequences, a group of Chinese people in India recognize him as Liu Sheng. A conman, friend to Sidhu, scams him and tells him that he is the reborn ruler of China, which makes him happy and excited to go to China and change his luck. But when he realizes his true identity, the fate of China's rule depends on him.
From here on, the plot turns into something out of four completely different stories jammed into one, with half the pages missing. I dare you to make sense out of this highly convoluted storyline (SPOILERS FOLLOW)- A TV ad girl called Sikhi (Deepika) fools Sidhu at the route to China, and visits there instead. When Sidhu finally reaches China, he finds a revamped Sikhi, who's called Meow Meow, a twin sister of Sikhi. Turns out their parents were killed by Hojo at some point, and Sikhi escaped to India and Meow wants to avenge their death. But wait, halfway through the movie, we find out their father is alive, but has lost his memory of being a policeman, and now is an old beggar. When Meow finds out Sidhu is Liu Sheng, she tries to kill him (WHY she would do that is never explained, and instead of simply stabbing/shooting him, she decides to put acid on her lips and try kissing him.) But wait, she fails, and through more convoluted events, Sikhi sees Meow whom she presumed died ages ago. And wait, Hojo realizes Liu Sheng is here as Sidhu, so he publicly slaughters Sidhu's guardian who happens to be in China at that moment in front of Sidhu (why he didn't kill Sidhu himself, we'll never know). Defeated, Sidhu meets the FATHER of the twins who then REGAINS his memory of being a POLICE OFFICER through unfunny comic events, and decides to TRAIN Sidhu with Kungfu. I could go on with numerous huge plot holes and laughable action sequences for the sake of them, but to cut short, more nonsensical events follow, leading to the overblown and imbalanced climax of this mess.
Akshay Kumar's antics, unfortunately, do not save the movie this time. The only two redeemable moments of the movie are his final training sequence (that manages to be hilarious), and a few scenes on his way to China. The rest of the movie tries hard at being a slapstick comedy as well as a action drama, but falls flat on both levels. There are moments where the characters are supposed to be serious, but they act comic (such as after the death of his guardian and the final fight). Deepika gives one of the worst female acting I have seen anywhere. Her twin persona falls flat, but the blame is entirely on the disastrous script.
It's as if the filmmakers didn't even try. At all. First it is shown to be a fist-fight kung-fu movie, then in the middle of it, it turns into Akshay Kumar and Hojo having magical powers, including one where they LIFT WATER OFF THE SEA. These moments, supposedly trailer shots for the sake of showing the budget and CGI, instead end up being laughable and amateur. Dozens of huge problems in believability aren't explained, and the movie sags along to it's finale, hoping the audience won't notice.
Overall, Chandni Chowk to China should be avoided by almost anyone looking for even a mindless entertainer, except for die hard Akshay Kumar fans. Even then, you will end up feeling cheated and disappointed throughout the movie, and wonder how so many problems were overlooked during this rushed production.
3 out of 10.