I Want Candy (2007)
1/10
Too odd to handle
24 June 2008
The pretentiousness of the acting in a throwback 70's England, the accents, it is too apparent that they are there to "normalise" a lack of freedom. The English accents are phoney, and I am referring to the leads, and they're English! There aren't and never were stereotypical "gangster like cultures" in England; seeing the mock up in belittling youngsters with "you're surrounded with evil in some industries; keep quiet and under the influence of the monopoly that is running the movie industry in England" will only result in every truly refreshing pro establishment youngster that can conceive reality appropriately being fooled into submitting to the paradigm that following Ealing Studio mighty formulas will help weaving reality with social engineering, resulting only in social engineering prevailing, of the type they want to enforce in England even. All the emphases, all the mannerism, have been conceived by writers that know how to project in writing a "switch", a literal switch to turn on and off vomiting; youngsters in England will get a headache and a sensation of vomit from every cinematographic effort intended to induce vomit within this movie, and there's plenty of them. Young English people in this movie, those supposed to be students getting out of an art college, are directed to assume 70 year old people demeanour, but of 70 year olds that were living in the 30s! That odd vomiting sensation again, and again. There's an odd effort to project a conformity, to propagate how people in their place remain in their place; can you believe "writers that make it in England" are only producing this garbage? We've given them computers, affordable word processors; they can cut, paste, rearranged and modify at will, a luxury filmmakers of the 20's didn't have, but this is all they can come up with? It stinks, and you know it's done on purpose. Parents in the 21st century imitating Carry On characters?! What gave the writers the idea that is a paradigm that is well perceived or marketable? It is neither in fact! The Carry On franchise had parodies for the time the were made; in a 21st century context their parody doesn't apply; pass me a strong paper bag. Youngsters in England aren't that insecure; that interpreting a wayward son of a parent with a "blooming" business means approximating the worst possible middle class hero available in England is just wanting not to have more people filling up the cinemas.

England has been placed in trance, with a fascination with celebrities that approximate the lowest common denominator. The humour is silly; a mid 20's character in England isn't making shallow jokes like a chap in his early puberty years. For the producers of this movie, the purpose is to propagate mediocrity in English made movies; before is too late that is, before some movement in England finally wake everyone up and make aware that the establishment, 99.99% of the population that is, shouldn't put up with the self elected leaders which only represent 0.01% of the population, these latter being the anarchists, the anti-establishment. Absolutely everything has been put together with care avoiding any hint of reality; there's a storyline throughout this movie that has been conceived while in a cotton cloud; I feel like vomiting. I suppose this movie might have been made more watchable if everyone in it was going around without arms; that way they would have had much less chances in between takes to hide their eyes and face in shame, especially some of the lead actors; acting is acting, not an imitation of one's regurgitating character. Often the same joke is repeated over and over, a classic "repeat a lie times enough until it becomes true"'; but it doesn't work with bad jokes to start with, not matter the reiterations. Characters in this movie imitate other characters already present on UK TV channels; there is this tangible effort in the "UK movie industry", masqueraded in laziness, to avoid portraying new and really outstanding and entertaining characters, probably because they might be trouble with the severely weak self-righteousness of the monopoly capitalism running amok in England.

This film is in a new genre; definitely not comedy; it's in between drama and horror, but also with a little action, like vomiting action and getting out of the theatre action. Whoever watched the end result with a minimum of brain must have gotten an headache, it is such a sleeper; but wasn't it blatant by reading the script in the first place? England is better than what the junkies directing and writing this junk have had the omen to distribute as a movie. Let me through, I need to vomit; remembering one the scenes has triggered the switch again. 0/5 Even funds from the UK National Lottery have been wasted on this movie -1/5 then! thematrixexpert@yahoo.com
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