Review of Hitman

Hitman (I) (2007)
3/10
A script written in crayon
31 January 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Decent acting, decent director and decent budget destroyed by a script written in crayon. There's no excuse for a movie like this. This goes on the pile of drek of movies from video games like BloodRayne1/2. Our hero, a hit-man trained from birth and known only as 47 has been pursued by a cop from Interpol for 3 years. One thing clearly obvious is that this cop sucks. For one thing, 47 is bald and has a bar-code tattooed on the back of his head just like his other dozen or two assassins running around in this film. You'd think just from that that maybe there would be a APB for bald guys with bar codes on their head. Maybe the director should have taken some artistic license as has been done with other comic and video game translations and maybe moved the bar-code where it could be concealed by a shirt collar.

Starting with this, scene after scene simply stretches credulity. He assassinates the president of Russia publicly in front of hundreds of witnesses. Blood from a head shot to the face splatters dozens. Yet somehow not one of them speaks up when the Russians later claim that he missed and the president is fine. The secret is known only by the president's double and a secret police chief. Yet somehow they are able to pull off this hoax. Agent 47 asks his control who hired the hit on the president and he is told the president hired him. Now, you'd think if your taking down orders for hit jobs you might have asked a question or two when someone orders a hit on himself other than "Would you like fries with that?" 47 instinctively knows that a woman witness he is told to must have information he needs to get himself out of his dilemma.

47 makes a dramatic escape from police by leaping out his hotel window into the river. To bad he booked his room on the other side of the hotel from total lack of foresight for an escape route. Besides police at least a dozen of his brother assassins are after him for no good reason. When confronted 3 to 1 they all decide to put down their guns and duke it out with swords. They are all supposedly trained from birth to kill but their swordfighting apparently comes from a weekend course from the Learning Annex.

It just goes on and on like this. How this got higher than a 3 must be from the fanboys of the video game.
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