2/10
Terrible movie not worth the controversy
4 December 2007
Warning: Spoilers
SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT probably would have been one of those vaguely remembered slasher movies like JUST BEFORE DAWN or THE MUTILATOR that had brief theatrical runs and then modest second lives on home video, were it not for the fact that Tri-Star Pictures picked it up for release, then dropped it like a hot potato when a couple of angry mothers threatened to boycott the studio's releases if they did not withdraw the movie from theaters.

This made the movie infamous and suddenly the uncut home video release from now defunct Thriller Video was a hot item among horror fans, especially since it was one of the few of their titles (along with MAKE THEM DIE SLOWLY and BURIED ALIVE) that hostess Elvira refused to promote. I myself begged for a copy for Christmas. Didn't happen. Finally, my local video store got it in. I eagerly ran home, popped the cassette in the VCR and sat down to watch Santa hack up topless bimbos.

While the movie certainly delivered what it promised (in very short and spread out spurts), everything that happened in between the carnage was so excruciatingly boring and stupid it took physical energy to keep my attention focused until the next slaying. The fact that a major studio even considered releasing a movie so poorly made and badly acted is astonishing. At least Friday THE 13TH and MY BLOODY VALENTINE were competently made. SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT looks like a feature length student film.

I will say this: the movie is as sleazy and misogynistic as its reputation suggests. In its uncut form, it delivers the gore without restraint. If all you're looking for is T&A and blood & guts, SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT does have it.

However, if you rent a horror movie with the hope that there will be something in there that makes it rise above the rest and leave you thinking not all horror movies are garbage as so many critics and parents suggest, there's no reason to bother with SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT. It's a boring, banal, moronic excuse for a horror movie that owes all its notoriety to the loudmouth parents who feel Hollywood and TV networks should do their parenting for them.

When will people learn that the best way to combat something they find offensive is to simply keep their mouths shut?
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