Review of Cold Comfort

Cold Comfort (1989)
The pits.
16 September 2007
Don't believe any of the other reviews posted here, which are - for some unfathomable reason - all full of praise for this major piece of Dreck.

Another one of those imbecilic films in which an innocent passer-by is kept imprisoned in a house somewhere in the middle of nowhere. This is one of the worst sub-sub-genres of them all. It's bad enough to watch a dumb thriller, but when it's this kind it really doesn't get any worse. This brick-hard bundle of nonsense may be one of the five worst films I've ever seen, and I've seen several thousand - unlike some IMDb reviewers out there who get excited about just about anything. The characterization is straight out of the "Guide For Making Bad Z-Movies". The plot is totally predictable, the motivations of the characters muddled - or most likely non-existent - and there is some rather inept acting. The award-winningly absurd premise includes an 18 year-old girl who never met anyone apart from her fat father and his chained dogs, yet seems cheerful and well-adjusted enough (all things considering). Duh! This kind of plot has been done badly before but this dumbfest redefines how much worse an already idiotic premise can be made if one tries hard enough. Clearly, the effort has been made in that direction, in this case. It isn't hard to "top" this junk - it is practically impossible.
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