Never Again (2001)
1/10
Phony premise, phony everything
11 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
After watching this film, and I did watch it to the end, I immediately figured out its origins. The writer/director glommed onto the title, Never Again, then decided what a great movie title that would be and wrote (I use the word loosely) a movie around the title, using obvious setups. The opening scenes strain credulity for their "meeting cute" -- what normal straight guy decides he may be gay because he can't commit. Remember, I said normal. The leads are the mandatory emotionally damaged 54-year-old male and female. They bare their souls, and vow "never again" will they put themselves through the horror of falling in love but, oh, by the way, sex is permitted. She immediately has a "delayed" orgasm (only that piece of fiction could be written by a clueless male fixated on a fantasy that doesn't exist in real life), after which they suddenly decide they are in love and oh, by the way, it is six months later all of a sudden because it has been established for the sake of the story that he is so neurotic that he can't remain in a relationship longer than, what is it? oh yeah, nine months. Not three months, not 14 months, but nine months. (But that was with women half his age or less, so what's up with that?) So naturally, he leaves because he looked at his watch and by golly, it's been nine months. Then he gets run over by a horse, almost dies. She puts on a costume that brings him out of a coma and all live happily ever after, or so you are supposed to think.

The script, direction, and production values are to laugh at. The acting is good, as has been mentioned in other comments, but it must have taken heroic efforts on the parts of the cast to deliver with this lame material.
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