Erhmmm....
I think I owe all the movies I rated 3 or less in the past a big apology. Movies I described as being monotonous, pointless or pretentious in fact never were. Or maybe it's just that I just experienced the equivalent of Hell in a movie which had everything that a quality movie rightfully lacks.
After regretfully seeing movies like The Dentist II and Swept Away, I thought I'd cought a glimpse of the worst films ever created. Terry Gillian, tonight, proved me wrong to a degree that would have made self-flagellation a more amusing pastime although my neighbours would not have been able to tell the difference.
No, this movie didn't shock me, well, it did, but not through graphic violence or any other form of deliberate shock-techniques. It didn't have to. It shocked by showing a 2 hour story which was so vacuous it could suck up black holes, acting which makes amateur performance-art something u want to take your kids to see and mind-raping dialog that makes grown men start wetting their beds again. Not to mention a fine collection of rave reviews this movie got which make you lose what little faith in humanity was left. This movie is to dramatic fantasies what 'Faces of Death' is to an episode of 'Little House on the Prairie'. And I'm still being kind here, very very kind.
Trying to express what I felt exactly when I fast-forwarded this 'gorgeous and emotional trip' (as some very scary person typified this abomination) besides sheer agony is close to impossible because its range lies somewhere between catatonic disbelief and that which someone experiences after being bitten by a dog with rabies.
We all know that scene where u see a guy strapped to a chair, ball-gagged, his eyes pried open, forced to watch something on a screen while through his ears he is being force-fed the first three seconds of Barry Manilow's chorus of "Mandy", endlessly repeated. The thing this guy is watching? you guessed it: Tideland.
-100/10
I think I owe all the movies I rated 3 or less in the past a big apology. Movies I described as being monotonous, pointless or pretentious in fact never were. Or maybe it's just that I just experienced the equivalent of Hell in a movie which had everything that a quality movie rightfully lacks.
After regretfully seeing movies like The Dentist II and Swept Away, I thought I'd cought a glimpse of the worst films ever created. Terry Gillian, tonight, proved me wrong to a degree that would have made self-flagellation a more amusing pastime although my neighbours would not have been able to tell the difference.
No, this movie didn't shock me, well, it did, but not through graphic violence or any other form of deliberate shock-techniques. It didn't have to. It shocked by showing a 2 hour story which was so vacuous it could suck up black holes, acting which makes amateur performance-art something u want to take your kids to see and mind-raping dialog that makes grown men start wetting their beds again. Not to mention a fine collection of rave reviews this movie got which make you lose what little faith in humanity was left. This movie is to dramatic fantasies what 'Faces of Death' is to an episode of 'Little House on the Prairie'. And I'm still being kind here, very very kind.
Trying to express what I felt exactly when I fast-forwarded this 'gorgeous and emotional trip' (as some very scary person typified this abomination) besides sheer agony is close to impossible because its range lies somewhere between catatonic disbelief and that which someone experiences after being bitten by a dog with rabies.
We all know that scene where u see a guy strapped to a chair, ball-gagged, his eyes pried open, forced to watch something on a screen while through his ears he is being force-fed the first three seconds of Barry Manilow's chorus of "Mandy", endlessly repeated. The thing this guy is watching? you guessed it: Tideland.
-100/10