Ghoulies II (1987)
2/10
A kick in the ghoulies
21 November 2006
This is an 80's cheese-fest. It lies somewhere between Gremlins and Hobgoblins – not as good as the former, not as bad as the latter. It, nevertheless, is as limited as you would expect.

The story basically involves a handful of small nasty creatures – the Ghoulies – that escape the clutches of a man with a moustache and set up home in a circus. Or, more specifically, the ghost house; which is a sort of ghost train without the train. This place, which is owned by a young chap with a mullet and his uncle, is in danger of being closed down by a man called Mr Hardin (I kid you not). So they, together with their friend, a dwarf called Sir Nigel, have to contend with both Mr Hardin and the evil Ghoulies, who are on a murderous rampage.

The good guys are essentially quite annoying. Especially Sir Nigel, who seems to be portrayed by John Oates of Hall and Oates fame. Oates is a frustrated Shakespearean actor who has settled for the next best thing – dressing up in a gorilla suit. The uncle, nephew and Oates make a somewhat irritating group of good guys. You will be cheering on the Ghoulies from the word go. The Ghoulies themselves are quite amusing, especially the ratty looking one. They are slightly rubbish but they can be quite funny.

The closing music is performed by W.A.S.P. The fact that they contributed a song to the movie Ghoulies II just proves what a bunch of poodle-permed bampots they were. I don't know if they provided the heavy metal music that accompanied the idiots with the ghetto blaster who served themselves up as Ghoulie-fodder earlier in the movie but the music was suitably dreadful.

I can't recommend this film. But it will kill 90 minutes. You will, however, never get this 90 minutes of your life back, so think carefully before settling down to this movie. What do I recommend about it? I'm not sure but it is nice to see John Oates perform in something without Daryl Hall.
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