darryl-shaw Review of Trapped Ashes

Trapped Ashes (2006)

Wussy Survivor from Toronto Film Fest Screening Speaks

[8/10 · 17 September 2006]

Okay so maybe I'm a wimp or maybe I had legitimate medical reasons for fainting, but the fact is I do watch tons of horror films, volunteer regularly for a horror magazine, and this has never happened before. I should have fainted to Ichi the Killer, or Brain Dead, or f*ck, even the cockroach sequence in Creepshow- but no, the segment to knock me out was "The girl with the golden breasts" which was a story about this gorgeous chick who's boob implant goes horribly wrong. Following the episode I went to the doctor, got a blood test, EKG, had my blood pressure taken, a full out exam- and was told that I was probably dehydrated, my body type is lean and more susceptible. I was working crazy hours, attending midnight screenings, the theater was stuffy, and blah blah blah. I'm a guy who writes horror scripts! I've become jaded as a writer because I've found it increasingly hard to scare myself. I'd like to think I'm tougher than that, but damn. The feeling came on like dimensional twist- like I was fighting to stay in my body- my perspective was pulsing, disorientation followed, then the unfightable desire to go and splash some water on my face. I should have stayed in my seat. Instead, I went out to the lobby, came crashing down- busted open my eyebrow...and have no memory of the fall. To preserve my dignity- and see if it really was an epileptic thing, I attended the second screening, and am happy to say I survived- didn't faint or feel feverish throughout all the five stories, and enjoyed it quite a bit. I am totally into exploitation horror movies, and this one has plenty of it-- Though I would have liked to have seen more gore- the squeamish parts could have been expanded, made more sadistic, especially in the tape worm story-- the film as a whole reminded me of those old pulp EC horror comics I used to read as a kid. The lighting had echoes of Argento's Suspiria... The main score was effectively creepy, the director's styles were pretty varied adding some interesting textures to the whole, and I hope the people at Tales from the Crypt scoop up this team for another go at it- this time adding takashi miike to the roster to go full out into the lactating boob horror.