2/10
Confessions of a Viewer Who Hated This Movie.
28 July 2006
I generally don't berate films here on IMDb that I don't think deserve a thorough bashing. When rating movies I usually take into consideration their genre, audience demographic and such. For example, judging a standard family movie like "Madagascar" against some type of epic adult feature such as "The Godfather" would be ridiculous - different genre, different crowd, different goal as a movie.

But "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" doesn't even stack up against other family films of its kind. It's equally insulting for children and adults alike. On one level it begs to be some type of satirical comment on drama queens and materialism, but that's EXACTLY what the film falls victim to - its lead character, played by the despicable Lindsay Lohan, is a trashy drama queen who apparently spends all her free time lusting after a hunky teen icon. And just knowing about Lohan's drama queen antics in real life makes this character seem just a little bit too realistic. She's supposed to be the heroine of this film, but after five minutes I already hated her. And I'm not a prepossessed Lohan basher - I enjoyed her performance (or, rather, performances) in the Parent Trap remake - but she is just completely irritating here.

The plot line is borderline idiotic and a very generic run-of-the-mill pre-teen flick: a rich brat has to move to a new place and leave all her friends behind, but the twist here - ARE YOU READY FOR IT?? Because it's an absolutely brilliant one - anyway, the twist here is that...get ready for it...she's a DRAMA QUEEN! Haha! Somebody give the screenwriter who came up with this concept a few million, because that's absolutely brilliant. As if any other character in a flick like this isn't already dramatic enough - making the character a drama queen just makes her consistent whining even all the MORE enjoyable! (Not.) I really came away hating this movie. It left me with a bad feeling in my gut. There's something kind of sleazy and insulting about it. It's supposed to appeal to our daughters, but I don't think I'd want any daughter of mine looking up to Lindsay Lohan - especially in a role like THIS - as any type of role model. Maybe it's just me but I feel no sympathy for a character as unlikeable as the one in this movie. Sorry, Ms. Lohan.
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