"Mesa of Lost Women" has two early hooks that make it seem that the movie is actually going somewhere. Even before any opening credits roll, there's the seductive scene with Tarantella (Tandra Quinn) using her nine inch nails on a hapless victim. The nails are never seen again. While in a mountaintop surrounded by desolation, Dr. Arana (Jackie Coogan) explains he's isolated the growth hormone of the anterior pituitary, the substance that controls the growth pattern of humans. The writers must have been so impressed with this line that they used it practically verbatim twice.
You can turn off your player right there. The rest of the film implodes in a veritable nightmare of nonsense and head scratching goofiness. With monotone voice over narration complemented by inane dialog, and a soundtrack composed of an incessantly strumming Mexican guitar, the viewer is challenged beyond physical endurance. Hey, here's an idea. Maybe someone could develop a video game based on the concept of the dwarf heads that pop into view every few minutes to eyeball the stranded group on the mesa.
At least Dr. Arana had the right idea. His experiments were successful in staffing the mesa laboratory with a bevy of Miss Universe contestants. Wow, didn't Tarantella's anterior pituitary go into overdrive during that dance at the Mexican cantina? I was mesmerized until the guy on the phone says - "Sheriff, the body just got up and walked out of here."
Contrary to all leading indicators however, this movie does NOT make my Worst Ten list. For that, a film has to be so egregiously bad that you can't even make fun of it. "Mesa of Lost Women" at least qualifies as feature of the week at the Muerto State Asylum.
You can turn off your player right there. The rest of the film implodes in a veritable nightmare of nonsense and head scratching goofiness. With monotone voice over narration complemented by inane dialog, and a soundtrack composed of an incessantly strumming Mexican guitar, the viewer is challenged beyond physical endurance. Hey, here's an idea. Maybe someone could develop a video game based on the concept of the dwarf heads that pop into view every few minutes to eyeball the stranded group on the mesa.
At least Dr. Arana had the right idea. His experiments were successful in staffing the mesa laboratory with a bevy of Miss Universe contestants. Wow, didn't Tarantella's anterior pituitary go into overdrive during that dance at the Mexican cantina? I was mesmerized until the guy on the phone says - "Sheriff, the body just got up and walked out of here."
Contrary to all leading indicators however, this movie does NOT make my Worst Ten list. For that, a film has to be so egregiously bad that you can't even make fun of it. "Mesa of Lost Women" at least qualifies as feature of the week at the Muerto State Asylum.