I found myself asking that question many times throughout this movie, a flick my B-Horror-obsessed friend had bought at a Wal-Mart for under 5$ on DVD. Knowing this, I knew I was in for a laugh.
But no. I wasn't even graced with that.
Instead, I was thrown into a plot-hole paradise, full of high-school play-like acting, terribly written dialogue, recycled footage (watch how many times one crucial shot is repeated 3 or more times within one 5 minute time frame), and a giant, badly-lit, boring set where every room looks exactly the same.
Now, let me explain the plot to you. Try to follow: snobby, pretty-boy, rich kid Kristoff tricks some old richer, prettier, and snobbier friends into reuniting by bringing them all to an old funeral home (that looks more like Castle GreySkull) for a viewing of their dead compadre, Calvin(?). Everyone cries, mourn, and talk about all the "f*ckin' wise-cracking jokes" he was so well know for.
Punk'd! It turns out Calvin isn't dead at all, and that this was just all a set-up made by the two of them in order to bring the "old gang" together again (seeing as how their such GREAT friends that one has to go to such lengths just to have them all hang out!). No one laughs, but no one really freaks out either. After the joke is over, Kristoff leads our friends downstairs, where an old witches prison is, and explains to the crew that his rich father, who owns a popular tabloid magazine, is holding a contest where people visit the prison (for a small admission fee, of course), are given proper tools, and allowed to dig up the floor of the prison in search of the "Talon Key", an artifact rumored to be hiding underneath the prison floors. The first contestant to find said key wins one million dollars.
There. That's pretty much the last you hear about the key until the very end of the film (about an hour and a half later) where it becomes extremely crucial to the story. Kristoff is hell-bent on winning this easy million, and asks his friends to help. And, for extra guidance, Kristoff summons the almighty power of the Ouija board, which somehow awakens 3 dead executioners from the grave who are hungry for blood, and a countless number of witch-ghost-spirit things that start to take over the bodies of our team.
Without giving too much away, that's pretty much it, and all of this is explained, word for word, very casually, within the first 10 minutes of the film. I truly cannot comprehend how this movie even got onto DVD, or how little the cast and crew were paid for it. There are so many plot-holes and just all-around f*ck-ups, that it's almost impossible to count. This is definitely a movie only worth watching when you're seriously hungover, and don't feel like using your brain too much.
But no. I wasn't even graced with that.
Instead, I was thrown into a plot-hole paradise, full of high-school play-like acting, terribly written dialogue, recycled footage (watch how many times one crucial shot is repeated 3 or more times within one 5 minute time frame), and a giant, badly-lit, boring set where every room looks exactly the same.
Now, let me explain the plot to you. Try to follow: snobby, pretty-boy, rich kid Kristoff tricks some old richer, prettier, and snobbier friends into reuniting by bringing them all to an old funeral home (that looks more like Castle GreySkull) for a viewing of their dead compadre, Calvin(?). Everyone cries, mourn, and talk about all the "f*ckin' wise-cracking jokes" he was so well know for.
Punk'd! It turns out Calvin isn't dead at all, and that this was just all a set-up made by the two of them in order to bring the "old gang" together again (seeing as how their such GREAT friends that one has to go to such lengths just to have them all hang out!). No one laughs, but no one really freaks out either. After the joke is over, Kristoff leads our friends downstairs, where an old witches prison is, and explains to the crew that his rich father, who owns a popular tabloid magazine, is holding a contest where people visit the prison (for a small admission fee, of course), are given proper tools, and allowed to dig up the floor of the prison in search of the "Talon Key", an artifact rumored to be hiding underneath the prison floors. The first contestant to find said key wins one million dollars.
There. That's pretty much the last you hear about the key until the very end of the film (about an hour and a half later) where it becomes extremely crucial to the story. Kristoff is hell-bent on winning this easy million, and asks his friends to help. And, for extra guidance, Kristoff summons the almighty power of the Ouija board, which somehow awakens 3 dead executioners from the grave who are hungry for blood, and a countless number of witch-ghost-spirit things that start to take over the bodies of our team.
Without giving too much away, that's pretty much it, and all of this is explained, word for word, very casually, within the first 10 minutes of the film. I truly cannot comprehend how this movie even got onto DVD, or how little the cast and crew were paid for it. There are so many plot-holes and just all-around f*ck-ups, that it's almost impossible to count. This is definitely a movie only worth watching when you're seriously hungover, and don't feel like using your brain too much.