In fact, Father Of The Bride looks all the more like a fluffy, feel-good fantasy, compared to the grim reality of The Catered Affair. A bit *too* grim and realistic for my liking. This is one of the most depressing movies I've ever seen. It's painful watching your parents in a loveless marriage, fighting over money all the time, resigned to a joyless existence... and I've seen enough of that in real life. I don't need to see more of it on the screen.
The conclusion upset me, as it always upsets me to see wives putting their husbands' wishes first and making too many sacrifices. I think the end is actually supposed to be...somewhat happy. But I didn't see it that way, because I don't feel that the husband/father deserved what he got. He never gave his family *anything*, and I'm not just talking about his failures from a financial point of view. I'm talking about love and affection. Fer cryin' out loud, he barely said a word to his daughter, and he didn't seem to care that she was leaving home. No words of advice (like his wife tried to dispense), no hugs, tears, smiles...nothing. All that mattered (and the only thing that made him crack a smile) was his damn taxi cab. How about creating a slightly more pleasant atmosphere during this important time in your child's life? The family's money worries are no excuse. He was a dour, distant presence even before all the big wedding plans & big spending. I understand how difficult it is to be poor, but giving your family a loving look or a kind word, doesn't cost anything! Arrgh, I just couldn't sympathize with the man.
Yes, I realize there are taciturn, emotionally distant fathers out there in the real world, but this isn't a *good* thing, right? So why did this movie seem to condone (and, ultimately, reward) his behaviour, meanwhile demonizing his wife for wanting a better life/marriage for her daughter than she'd had herself. I find her situation much more sympathetic, and her flaws more forgivable. It's infuriating that the movie sides with the husband/father and gives him a completely unearned happy ending.
The Catered Affair seems to be admired by many for it's realism, good acting, etc. I guess it just hit too close to home for me. And I don't enjoy movies that emphasize (but fail to CRITICIZE) depressing, unfair "realities" of life... such as the fact that many men consider themselves the most important member of the family, and expect the women-folk to just cater to their needs and help them achieve *their* dreams.
And to think that when I read the basic plot outline and pictured the unlikely casting of Debbie Reynolds as Bette Davis' daughter... I thought this was gonna be a comedy!
The conclusion upset me, as it always upsets me to see wives putting their husbands' wishes first and making too many sacrifices. I think the end is actually supposed to be...somewhat happy. But I didn't see it that way, because I don't feel that the husband/father deserved what he got. He never gave his family *anything*, and I'm not just talking about his failures from a financial point of view. I'm talking about love and affection. Fer cryin' out loud, he barely said a word to his daughter, and he didn't seem to care that she was leaving home. No words of advice (like his wife tried to dispense), no hugs, tears, smiles...nothing. All that mattered (and the only thing that made him crack a smile) was his damn taxi cab. How about creating a slightly more pleasant atmosphere during this important time in your child's life? The family's money worries are no excuse. He was a dour, distant presence even before all the big wedding plans & big spending. I understand how difficult it is to be poor, but giving your family a loving look or a kind word, doesn't cost anything! Arrgh, I just couldn't sympathize with the man.
Yes, I realize there are taciturn, emotionally distant fathers out there in the real world, but this isn't a *good* thing, right? So why did this movie seem to condone (and, ultimately, reward) his behaviour, meanwhile demonizing his wife for wanting a better life/marriage for her daughter than she'd had herself. I find her situation much more sympathetic, and her flaws more forgivable. It's infuriating that the movie sides with the husband/father and gives him a completely unearned happy ending.
The Catered Affair seems to be admired by many for it's realism, good acting, etc. I guess it just hit too close to home for me. And I don't enjoy movies that emphasize (but fail to CRITICIZE) depressing, unfair "realities" of life... such as the fact that many men consider themselves the most important member of the family, and expect the women-folk to just cater to their needs and help them achieve *their* dreams.
And to think that when I read the basic plot outline and pictured the unlikely casting of Debbie Reynolds as Bette Davis' daughter... I thought this was gonna be a comedy!