2/10
Satan Will Turn You Into Rip Van Winkle
10 November 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Leo McCarey was one of Hollywood's best known anti-Communists around and for his last film decided to show the truth about the Communist Chinese persecution of Christians.

For a man who in his prime was considered one of the best comedy directors in Hollywood, all the laughs in this one came in all the wrong places. Not that there were to be too many laughs in this film.

The premise about two priests, a young one sent out to replace an old one worked real well for Going My Way. But Bing Crosby and Barry Fitzgerald weren't facing a Red Army invasion in Hell's Kitchen in New York.

William Holden and Clifton Webb play the two priests. Holden has picked up an extra passenger on the way to replace Webb. Before the action of the film starts, he's saved young France Nuyen from drowning and since it is a Chinese custom that a life saved is the saver's responsibility. She's offering herself to Holden and I should amend that to say she's throwing herself at him through most the film.

Apparently no one just sits down and explains the concept of celibacy to her. But the two priests have bigger problems when the forces of Mao Tse-tung arrive at the village.

The local commander is played by an actor named Weaver Lee who never made another film. I'm sure he was chosen for the part because of his resemblance to Chairman Mao. He's a former Christian and a protégé of Webb, but now like that other former seminarian Joseph Stalin, he's a committed revolutionary.

And he's a general no good and he tops off his reign of terror by raping France Nuyen and forcing Holden to watch to see what he's been missing. Is there no end to this man's diabolical cruelty? Lee is relieved of his duties as commander because he hasn't been ruthless enough and then he decides Christianity might have its advantages after all. What great character motivation.

This film did make it into the book as one of the 50 worst of all time and there's enough there to justify its inclusion. If this was anti-Communist propaganda, it's a miracle we won the Cold War.

Bill Holden survived this and next year turned in one of his best screen roles in The Counterfeit Traitor. This was Clifton Webb's last film. It was rumored that he retired and became a recluse after his mother died at 101. I'm not so sure it might have been from sheer embarrassment after Satan Never Sleeps. It was also Leo McCarey's last film.

Either you will snooze through this like Rip Van Winkle or you'll laugh yourself silly. Either way it was a lousy swan song for both Webb and McCarey.
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