Review of TeenAlien

TeenAlien (1978)
2/10
consarned Varrow sabotages a spook alley; low budget silliness
2 October 2005
While "Old Man Dobbs" concocts some awful mixed drink ("smooth!") some red-eyed alien briefly appears outside, and then an alien spacecraft flies overhead and causes his drink to bubble away to nothing. "Consarned aeroplanes!" Those Dobbses, always encountering UFOs. Why, I could tell you a thing or two about J.R. "Bob" Dobbs...

But anyway, twenty years later, "Old Man Cranston," a well-dressed Santa Claus-looking fellow with a yellow British Rolls Royce lets teenager Carl have the key to his old haunted mill. Carl and his friends will use it for a Halloween "Spook Alley." Meanwhile, a rival group wants to win the Spook Alley contest, so they decide to scare Carl and his friends out of using the mill, since everyone finds it scary in and of itself.

Unfortunately, there's an alien called a Varrow living there who would like to kill off every human on Earth one at a time. It can disguise itself as human beings.

As SCTV's Count Floyd would say, "Ooh, scary, kids!" This is a pretty lame movie (albeit with a neat location), and another user comment indicating it had to do with a radio contest at least makes a little sense of it all. I wonder what sort of distribution it got prior to making it to video. I saw this on videotape as The Varrow Mission, in an old clamshell case box. No photos on the box at all, usually a good indicator of bad quality (see badmovies.org's "How to Find a Bad Movie" - this one might rate 16 points). The box made this sound more of a horror/sci-fi movie than whatever this is.
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