Review of Patrick

Patrick (1978)
3/10
"An EEG will pick up any brain activity, from a fart to a nervous break-down." Really sloooooooooooooow.
10 July 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Patrick starts with Patrick (Robert Thompson) himself killing his Mom (Carole Ann-Aylett) & her lover (Paul Young) by throwing an electric fire into their bathtub. Three years later & nurse Kathy Jacquard (Susan Penhaligon) has just separated form her husband Ed (Rod Mullinar) & is looking to get back into nursing after a two year absence. Kathy applies for a job at the 'Roget Clinic' where after a tough interview with Matron Cassidy (Julia Blake) she is given a job by Dr. Roget (Robert Helpmann) himself & the responsibility of looking after the comatose patient in room 15, who just happens to be Patrick. Patrick has been a patient at the Roget Clinic for three years ever since he witnessed his Mother & her lover being killed in an 'accident' according to the police anyway. He never speaks, moves or has any traceable brain activity at all. Kathy quickly befriends Sister Paula Williams (Helen Hemmingway) but Matron Cassidy isn't keen on her. As Kathy talks with Sister Williams in front of Patrick about her personal life & thoughts strange things start to happen. A neurosurgeon named Brian Wright (Bruce Barry) mysteriously almost drowns in his swimming pool after coming on to Kathy, Kathy's flat is vandalised, Kathy's ex Ed burns his hands after making her a casserole, her typewriter starts to write on it's own & Patrick starts to communicate with her by making a spitting noise. Kathy is convinced that Patrick has telepathic powers which he has developed over the three years he has been confined to a hospital bed, Kathy starts to believe that Patrick has discovered a sort of sixth sense apparently. Patrick starts to affect Kathy's personal life & communicates to her that he feels someone is trying to kill him...

This Australian production was directed by Richard Franklin & almost put me in a coma, Patrick isn't really a horror in my opinion it's more of a thriller. The script by Everett De Roche is so slow & uneventful it's untrue, I am not over exaggerating when I say Patrick is one of the dullest films I've seen in ages. It's a shame because the premise & ideas here are good but after over an hour of virtually nothing happening my patience was being tested to the limit. There is a grand total of one death in Patrick after the opening sequence. There are very few characters in Patrick & since their all bland & forgettable they didn't help to maintain my flagging interest, their not developed at all either. We know nothing about Patrick apart from the opening scene & that he spends all day in a bed. We know nothing about Sister Williams who is there just to provide a friend for Kathy to talk to about her feelings & in turn giving director Franklin an easy & lazy way to let us, the viewer, know as well. Matron Cassidy's motives for her disliking of Patrick isn't touched upon more than a sentence about her not liking the air in his room & a speech about medical science prolonging life when it perhaps shouldn't. I could go on & on about how flimsy Patrick's characters are. It also starts to go into Patrick's previous nurse who also suffered in the same way Kathy is but again this is given one sentence & then totally forgotten about. Franklin seems to think showing Patrick telepathically typing on a typewriter is scary & interesting, it isn't mate. There is very little I can comment on as literary nothing happens other than Patrick typing some letters out & an awful lot of dull chit-chat between dull characters. When Patrick eventually starts to use his powers for something that resembles menace the film ends. I'm almost falling asleep just thinking about it! There is no blood or gore whatsoever & a grand total of one burned corpse. The acting is average at best but no-one embarrasses themselves too much. Director Franklin manages to create a few stylish sequences, the opening pre-credits scene in particular, but they are all but lost amongst the mountain of boring, flat, pointless & unimaginative time wasting nonsense that comprise most of Patrick's near 110 minute running time. Patrick would have been a lot better if it had a much tighter pace & a couple of murders, I mean someone being trapped in a lift for a few days just isn't that scary or memorable is it? Basically just think of Patrick as the worst Carrie (1976) rip-off you can imagine & your not far off the mark. So I'll give it a couple of stars because the central idea is good & one because generally speaking it's competently made throughout with one or two nice touches here & there. I still pretty much hated it though & I really am falling asleep just thinking about it...
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