How desperate is Hollywood these days? How anxious are they to get a creepy Japenese- originated 'Ring'-like horror picture with a PG-13 rating out in the theaters so it can score #1 at the box office with ticket sales from the teenage crowd? They must be very desperate, indeed, because the latest one 'Dark Water' is nothing but a jumbled, confusing and frustrating migraine of a suspense picture, with really no suspense. The film doesn't even begin to get a tad bit interesting, until an hour and a half has already passed (the movie runs for one hour and forty-five minutes). 'Dark Water' is a terrible failure, with only fifteen minutes of true suspense and ninety minutes of pointless filler. I was extremely disappointed with 'Dark Water' after reading so many positive reviews. I was expecting a cast filled with such strong actors as Jennifer Connelly, Tim Roth, John C. Reilly, Dougary Scott and Pete Postelwaithe to really lift this picture up, but the movie was so bland and lame their acting talents couldn't. I don't know if I was ever as bored in a movie theater before today.
The story (based on a tired formulaic novel by Japanese hack Koji Suzuki), follows Dahlia (Jennifer Connelly) and her daughter, Ceci (Ariel Gade). Dahlia and her husband Kyle (Dougary Scott) are going through an awful and dirty divorce and are fighting over custody. Kyle is shacked up with another honey over in Jersey City, and Dahlia is trying to find an affordable apartment in Manhattan for her and her daughter. After a long time of searching, Dahlia and her daughter come across a rusty, depressing looking apartment building just on the outskirts on Manhattan with a spare room. They are shown the apartment by the building lying, two-faced sleaze ball super Mr. Murray (John C. Reilly), who tries desperately to condescend the two into thinking it's a beautiful apartment, when it's really tired, dull and very creepy looking. Dahlia ends up getting the apartment, and when she does strange occurrences start to happen starting with a water leak in the ceiling. It's coming from the upstairs apartment 10 F, but no one lives there... (oooohhhh, creepy)! Not.
There's no creepy-looking little girl who kills people in this thriller, just a normal boring looking ghost girl who couldn't scare a ninety year old woman on dialysis. The movie tries to scare you with free flowing water that is black! Oh, my god! How frightening! Yeah, right. It seems whenever you are expecting something freaky and delightfully disturbing to happen in this so-called horror flick, something so indescribably wearisome happens. The film really doesn't build up adequate suspense or interest till the concluding fifteen minutes where it's absolutely crazy. I mean crazy as interesting and scary, but also mindless and cliché too. There is really no aspect of 'Dark Water' that is original and that's a shame. Brazilian director Walter Salles does the best he can with the besotted and dim-witted screenplay. It's a major step down for Salles after directing last year's foreign-indie favorite 'The Motorcycle Diaries', which earned a Best Foreign Film nomination at the Academy Awards in March. Jennifer Connelly is solid as to be expected, but even her dead-on performance can't save the movie from it's tedious and simple-minded formula. Tim Roth is a good addition to the cast as Connelly's typical lawyer, Dougary Scott is okay for his very limited camera time, Camryn Manheim is well, Camryn Manheim as Ceci's school teacher, Pete Postelwaithe (aka Koboyashi) adds an interesting creep factor to his character, and John C. Reilly is hysterical and always fun to watch as the sneaky low-life that is Mr. Murray. Reilly plays up his role tremendously, and by doing so is probably the best part of the scatterbrained feature.
When it's all over, I felt very let down and confused. The movie is hard to follow, and almost impossible to take seriously. It isn't as horrible as last year's stinker 'The Grudge', but it still is a bad movie. For all the talent behind 'Dark Water', it never impresses or entices. I have to say I was very disappointed with this movie, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I wouldn't even dish out $5 bucks for headphones to view it on a plane. If by some perverted chance 'Dark Water' scores #1 at the box office this weekend, I'll hang my head in shame on how tasteless our society has become. Grade: D+ (screened at AMC Deer Valley 30, Phoenix, Arizona, 7/8/05)
my ratings guide - A+ (absolutley flawless); A (a masterpiece, near-perfect); A- (excellent); B+ (great); B (very good); B- (good); C+ (a mixed bag); C (average); C- (disappointing); D+ (bad); D (very bad); D- (absolutley horrendous); F (not one redeeming quality in this hunk of Hollywood feces).
The story (based on a tired formulaic novel by Japanese hack Koji Suzuki), follows Dahlia (Jennifer Connelly) and her daughter, Ceci (Ariel Gade). Dahlia and her husband Kyle (Dougary Scott) are going through an awful and dirty divorce and are fighting over custody. Kyle is shacked up with another honey over in Jersey City, and Dahlia is trying to find an affordable apartment in Manhattan for her and her daughter. After a long time of searching, Dahlia and her daughter come across a rusty, depressing looking apartment building just on the outskirts on Manhattan with a spare room. They are shown the apartment by the building lying, two-faced sleaze ball super Mr. Murray (John C. Reilly), who tries desperately to condescend the two into thinking it's a beautiful apartment, when it's really tired, dull and very creepy looking. Dahlia ends up getting the apartment, and when she does strange occurrences start to happen starting with a water leak in the ceiling. It's coming from the upstairs apartment 10 F, but no one lives there... (oooohhhh, creepy)! Not.
There's no creepy-looking little girl who kills people in this thriller, just a normal boring looking ghost girl who couldn't scare a ninety year old woman on dialysis. The movie tries to scare you with free flowing water that is black! Oh, my god! How frightening! Yeah, right. It seems whenever you are expecting something freaky and delightfully disturbing to happen in this so-called horror flick, something so indescribably wearisome happens. The film really doesn't build up adequate suspense or interest till the concluding fifteen minutes where it's absolutely crazy. I mean crazy as interesting and scary, but also mindless and cliché too. There is really no aspect of 'Dark Water' that is original and that's a shame. Brazilian director Walter Salles does the best he can with the besotted and dim-witted screenplay. It's a major step down for Salles after directing last year's foreign-indie favorite 'The Motorcycle Diaries', which earned a Best Foreign Film nomination at the Academy Awards in March. Jennifer Connelly is solid as to be expected, but even her dead-on performance can't save the movie from it's tedious and simple-minded formula. Tim Roth is a good addition to the cast as Connelly's typical lawyer, Dougary Scott is okay for his very limited camera time, Camryn Manheim is well, Camryn Manheim as Ceci's school teacher, Pete Postelwaithe (aka Koboyashi) adds an interesting creep factor to his character, and John C. Reilly is hysterical and always fun to watch as the sneaky low-life that is Mr. Murray. Reilly plays up his role tremendously, and by doing so is probably the best part of the scatterbrained feature.
When it's all over, I felt very let down and confused. The movie is hard to follow, and almost impossible to take seriously. It isn't as horrible as last year's stinker 'The Grudge', but it still is a bad movie. For all the talent behind 'Dark Water', it never impresses or entices. I have to say I was very disappointed with this movie, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I wouldn't even dish out $5 bucks for headphones to view it on a plane. If by some perverted chance 'Dark Water' scores #1 at the box office this weekend, I'll hang my head in shame on how tasteless our society has become. Grade: D+ (screened at AMC Deer Valley 30, Phoenix, Arizona, 7/8/05)
my ratings guide - A+ (absolutley flawless); A (a masterpiece, near-perfect); A- (excellent); B+ (great); B (very good); B- (good); C+ (a mixed bag); C (average); C- (disappointing); D+ (bad); D (very bad); D- (absolutley horrendous); F (not one redeeming quality in this hunk of Hollywood feces).