3/10
The only thing "missing in action" is Chuck Norris' brain
10 April 2005
Ah, the 80's. Reagan is in the white house, the USSR is collapsing, Madonna was on top (and catholic), Steve Guttenberg is considered to be a "good actor", and nobody would shut up with that stupid saying "where's the beef?". From the late 70's to the beginning of the 80's and so on, the American public was facing the difficult backlash of the Vietnam War and its effects it had on the country. We did have to face the fact that we LOST that war, and it would be the first war America didn't come out the winning opponent. Not only were tens of thousands of lives where lost for a unworthy cause, but many of the soldiers who fought were left behind to serve as POWs and branded either MIA or dead. Their country had forgotten them. Henceforth, a string of lame, action-packed movies where released, depicting the search and rescue of the POWs, most famously known where the movies "Rambo: First Blood, part II" and the Chuck Norris vehicle "Missing in Action". Yes, we were sending one-man armies back to Vietnam to rescue the troops from the communist, ten years after the war ended! Alone is the idea ludicrous and cheesed-beyond-portion, because you'd think by now the POWs and MIAs would be dead, or sold up river to slave colonies. "Missing in Action" is the most laughable of all the films, because it ceases to take itself seriously. So why make a sequel? No, it's a prequel, which doesn't explain why it has the number "2" on the title.

"MIA2: The beginning" takes place before the first film, which has Norris' character, Col. Braddock, still a captive in post-war Vietnam. Along with around 4 to 5 other Americans, they endure harsh treatment from the camp's CO, Col. Yin, played by Soon-Tek Oh. They make it seem so hard to leave the camp, with dense jungles, booby traps, and a bridge with two guards carrying a flamethrower, but why don't they just walk out? Morales, I guess. Braddock protests the harsh treatment by saying Yin is not following the Geneva convention, but Yin assures that none of them are POWs because in order to be a POW, there has to be war and the war ended years ago...a pretty lazy loop hole if you ask me. Yin tells them that if they sign a contract that rejects the American government and admits to war crimes, the troops will be set free. Naturally, one of the does it; a sneaky backstabber played by Steven Williams, who for some reason still hangs around the camp? In the midst of Norris' cornball acting and Soon-Tek Oh's "more evil than evil" portrayal, a French (?) opium dealer flies his helicopter into the camp to conduct business with Yin. The Americans then decide to take control of the camp and escape in the helicopter. *yawn* MIA2 is a boring, lackluster of a film, even for an action film. Norris is practically sleeping his way through this role, even when his character is painted up to look like he has Malaria...which he doesn't, but another American GI does. The film is over zealous for it's action moments. There's just not enough things going on to really catch anyone's attention. The location where they shot is a little "too" dense of jungle to be Vietnam: yes, Vietnam has dense jungles, but not THAT dense! It looks more like the Hawaiian island of Kauai, which is probably where they shot it. The acting is beyond atrocious, and lets remind you, this IS a B-movie. The casting director went for the obvious approach to any Vietnam film in the 80's, and cast Japanese actors instead of VIETNAMESE or SOUTHEAST ASIANS. Soon-Tek Oh IS Japanese, let me remind you. So it comes off more like WWII POW film rather than Vietnam. And a French business man? Where the hell did that come from? Not to mention, he comes flying in on a American-made Huey helicopter. I dunno about you, but you just can't go out and buy a Huey at your local Army Surplus store. And apparently, English is the official language of Vietnam, because not one person speaks Vietnamese in the film. It would be a scene featuring only Yin and another foot soldier, and they're speaking English! Huh??? It just isn't that worthy of a film, and it was followed up by ANOTHER sequel. Lord, when will it end?! 'Nuff said.
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