Review of Sapphire Girls

Sapphire Girls (2003 Video)
5/10
Satisfying skin flick, not an uplifting classic
28 January 2004
Hapless singers (Ruby, Jade, Crystal) rejoin for a performance and tour at the invitation of mysterious benefactor Ben Turner, who secretly endeavors to market a hypnotic suggestion trance serum to any and all evil international agents after stealing the potion from US Army developers. The girls eventually stumble onto the nefarious plot, and with the help of agent Chet, accept the challenge to stop the evil plot and avoid capture, entrancement, and enslavement, while Saving America for Motherhood and Apple Pie. (We're not convinced that they have much interest in saving America for God.)

There are many sexy interludes, lots of skin bared, and some girl-on-girl. Ben is a handsome, though evil, dude, and some of the gals are quite lovely: Jodie Moore (as Jade) and Nicole Oring (as Ilona, compliant assistant to Ben Turner) are especially fetching, and Elizarah (as Crystal Diamond) is appealing, but Mary Carey (as Ruby) is a bit too fleshy.

The story is accompanied by a few pop-music performances, which may be cute but not memorable. The three protagonists play as "California girls", naive "O-My-God" types, who do not always fit. When any of the singers display occasional insight, suspicion, or initiative, she performs contrary to the "California girl" stereotype established earlier. As for the actors, it gets worse: the men are incredibly shallow characters.

The acting is not very convincing, and the plot is a bit silly, but the movie is OK as a skin show.

Sex: B, Good. Multiple sexual encounters, fairly erotic.

Women: B, Good. Several are sexy and beautiful.

Men: B. Adequate, but even less intellectually stimulating than the "California girls".

Story: C, weaker than usual for cable soft-porn.

Acting: C. Inconsistent.

Overall: C+. Satisfying skin flick, not an uplifting classic.
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