Ski Patrol (1990)
That ending really cuts the cheese *(spoilers)**
10 January 2004
Warning: Spoilers
I bought this movie for 80 cents and was pretty disappointed.

I was expecting something even remotely funny. Crude, but funny like Police Academy (made by the same folks). It had Ray Walston, a cute dog that farts and belches, a psycho named 'Suicide'(comparable to Bill Murray in Caddyshack), and an obnoxious, yet funny ski patrol supervisor.

The plot is simple: the "bad guys"--a land developer looking to take over the popular ski resort owned by the "good guys" uses his evildoer ski team to sabotage the resort so they'd flunk the safety inspection.

The movie has its funny moments at times. A few quick wit jokes here and there (and I do emphasize few). There's the running gag about the psychotic skier who tries all these downhill methods in order to "taste death while living life." And there's the short ski patrol supervisor who is convinced that he is getting taller (I liked pretty much any of the scenes with him in it as he may've been the only saving grace to the movie), and T.K. Carter was funny. But there's not enough going on with the plot. In fact, about 80% of the movie is just long scenes of downhill racing or downhill hijinks and of course, dancing (as it was made in the 1980s).

Unfortunately, the movie is not all that funny and not all the fun to watch, no matter how much of stupid comedy it is. And to top it off, the climax was just plain ridiculous.

***SPOILERS*** The short guy gets stuck on a mountain when he swerves his snowmobile to avoid a tree knocked over by 'Suicide'. He's left hanging on the mountain, and soon enough, so is the dog. Yep. Just dangling there, even when he moves around too much.

Martin Mull, the slimeball character, gets stuck in a hot dog snack stand which had broken loose from the platform and floated downhill and, what do you know, conveniently stops just before the end of the cliff. So Jerry, the glory boy of the ski patrol first ties a rope to the thin wired flag (like an antennea on your car hood) first and then hangs on to the rope before tying it to a wimpy tree. All this, while Mull is moving around enough that the damn hot dog stand would have fallen over. I'm not saying they had to be so realistic, but at least pay attention to detail. And the final scene is a chase where somehow, Jerry manages to hog tie the ski team leader that sabotaged them without ever having to make any sort of knot. The rest of the film may not have been so bad, but the ending is just plain horrible.

Could the sequel be better?
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