Oosterhartbabe Review of The Horror of Party Beach

The Horror of Party Beach (1964)

I'm beginning to agree with the Taliban militia...people should not be allowed to dance

[1/10 · 12 May 2004]

(spoilers) the creepiest and scariest thing about this stupid horror film are the dancing scenes with the gay men in skin tight speedos and the women wearing a collection of peculiar headwear. The second creepiest thing is that the scientist Dr. Gavin strongly resembles my best friend's father. The resemblance is eerie, in fact. The least scary thing in the movie are the monsters, who's mouths appear to be full of cigars and who also appear to be molting. As Tom Servo commented: "So radiation has a sense of humor?" The general 'plot': radiation is dumped from a ship into a harbor near the 'party beach'. IMMEDIATELY, it sinks to the bottom and starts converting a human skeleton into a plankton-based monster so silly looking that you wonder anyone would be afraid of it. The monster dog paddles to the surface, kills the town slut, and begins a reign of terror. It is opposed (sort of) by a pipe smoking scientist who seems incapable of using his own plot point(mainly, that the monster can be killed with sodium)to stop the rampaging monster, and his ultra white bread assistant(Hardware Hank)who lusts after the doctor's forty year old, dubbed daughter Elaine. At the beginning, the frightening dance scenes continue for about five hours, before the movie finally gets off and running (sort of) with the first death. The monsters run amok for several years, until the incompetent scientist finally discovers that the monster arm he acquired is radioactive, so that they can use Geiger counters to track them down and (Finally!) kill them with the aforementioned sodium. The scientists elderly daughter tracks the monsters to a local quarry, then places her foot against a rock so that she can appear to be in danger. Therefore, her white bread boyfriend can ride to the rescue in his gray MJ and toss handfuls of sodium on the guys in the poorly made monster costumes (in places, you can actually see the body parts of the actors sticking out of the costumes). Boyfriend and girlfriend share a tepid kiss to end the movie, thus bringing to a close approximately 17 hours of movie watching pleasure.