2/10
Nearly As Compelling As Uncle Harvey's Vacation Slides
11 April 2001
A question for the makers of this film: Why would you kick things off with virtually unintelligible voice-over narration from an uninteresting minor character who can barely speak English? That sort of throws things out of whack right off the bat. Well, that and opening credits that flash by so fast the viewer has no time to read them. And let's not forget muddy-looking stock footage and horrendous sound. To be fair, the abysmal production values are actually a perfect complement to the atrocious script and "characterizations". One truly pities the film's clumsy attempts to create conflict and generate suspense.

Not what you would call a terribly deep film, we learn early on that Joanne Dru's fetching woman on the beach character is really, get this, a model, who's worked in New York and Paris (but tragically hasn't yet been to Milan). Later we learn that if this mysterious, fascinating woman ever did come across a fortune in gold, she would "spend it". One also has to admire her very mature refusal to hold silly things like rape attempts against the men who perpetrate them. Very big of her.

The best thing about the film is unquestionably the name of the character played by newcomer Asher Dann - Manuel del Rio Montoya. In fact, those are the highlights of the show, those scenes where he gets to introduce himself and proudly recites his name. It's certainly much better than lines like "Manuel hit his head", when the shipmates are being tossed about in a sudden storm (hence the title - I guess APRIL STORM just didn't have quite the same ring to it). And I thought poor Manuel's staggering and wobbling was just a routine case of sea-sickness.

Towards the end, it becomes sadly apparent that the producers were trying for something along the lines of TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE, where greed and suspicion among a small, hastily put together band of fortune hunters spoils their chance. Evidently, Manuel wasn't the only person who hit his head. Lastly, Robert Strauss should never be permitted to appear shirtless in any motion picture, major or minor. Where is a uniform production code when you need one?
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