Intruder (III) (2016)
1/10
I haven't been more unsatisfied since my Prom night.
24 November 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Have you ever watched an intruder thriller and thought, "Boy, I hope the main character never even sees the killer?" Then this is the film for you!

It has all of the great clichés of the genre: lack of peripheral vision on the part of the heroine, hiding in closets, unnecessary nudity, dead bodies under the bed, and, of course, "the call was coming from inside the house!" Then, instead of following through with these clichés, we're left with buildups that lead to an unsatisfying end. Every. Time.

The creators of the film were utterly confused about the point of this type of movie. It's to inch our suspense forward for the final confrontation between the killer and the victim. In this film, they tease you with the idea and then leave you unsatisfied.

The lead character is searching for her friend's cat and begins looking under the bed where her dead boyfriend is? Nope! She goes outside and finds some creepy dude who has no bearing on the story. She tries calling her boyfriend and his phone starts ringing in the house? NOPE! She finds the phone and then decides it's the perfect time to go to sleep. The corpse is left entirely undiscovered for what I assume is three days. I don't think she has a sense of smell considering she also missed the fact that the killer urinated in her dishes. Yes, this happened.

Really. Don't waste your time. This movie plays like someone took deleted scenes from ten different thriller flicks, threw in awkward and unrealistic dialogue ("You work for the Philharmonic? That's interesting." "How so?" UGH I AM GLAD YOU DIED!), and called it good. The only time I screamed was when the final credits started rolling, and that was only out of the sheer horror that I'd wasted over an hour of my life watching this.
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