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kevcargill
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Boat Story (2023)
Appallingly bad!
It is clear the entire budget was spent on hiring a great cast of actors. The writers whose previous work has been very good, though never setting the world on fire, were then paid just enough to buy the crayons they wrote this with in a an afternoon on the piss while sniffing glue! It's really the only explanation I can come up with for a story this dumb and dialogue so dull. Without nitpicking every single one of the hundreds of ridiculous inaccuracies, unresearched event points and infeasible decisions, reactions and coincidences I would simply urge that you give this tosh a miss. Save yourself the grief. It's all been done before so much better in so many movies that there's no need to infect your brain with this. A new low for the BBC.
Taboo (2017)
Magnificent scenes. Cracking story. Hardy boring as fu..!
I confess I've never seen Tom Hardy in anything else so this may be more a critique of the director rather than the actor but having watched all 8 episodes I kept thinking 'if this had a decent actor in the lead role it would be much much better'. The story rightly castigates the appalling East India Company and the corpulent Prince Regent of the time using a fictional tale straight out of the Dickensian/Hammer Horror school of dark imagination. I love all that. The scenes are incredible. The story riveting. The actors from a wide range of acting careers and a wealth of talent amongst them were each in their own ways exemplary. Apart from Mt Hardy. It's as if someone told him, 'look, the pays not great, it's the BBC after all, but all you'll have to do is say "mmm" a lot, stare into the distance frequently, and the rest of the time just mumble your lines incoherently and you'll be fine'! Well I'm sorry but no. A role like this does require a certain amount of darkness around this particular character but that doesn't mean he has to be a monosyllabic imbecile!! Maybe it was indeed the way the director ordered it to be played but nevertheless it meant that for me it reduced a programme which may have achieved a 9 out of 10 to a 7.
Beyond Paradise (2023)
Awful
I have loved Death In Paradise from the beginning. Yes it's silly, yes you have to majorly suspend your disbelief regarding the one police station with only 2 uniform officers yet they need a DI and a DS but being set in the beautiful Caribbean, with fantastic incidental tunes, sunshine and the humorous juxtaposition of one eccentric DI after another, out of their comfort zones and into a fantasy world, it actually works. It shouldn't but it does.
Now take an eccentric DI and place him in the South West of England where he's comfortable, fits in with the other eccentrics, nothing is unfamiliar to him or the audience but then expect the audience to believe that a village police station with even less regular officers (one uniformed officer) than St Marie, but still needs a DI and a DS and suddenly it feels just a touch absurd. But if you add to that desperate attempts at laughter from fart gags and a parachuting idiot up s tree it all becomes too stupid to watch.
The dialogue was extremely boring, the attempt to avoid the Agatha Christie exposure moment by introducing a new flashback reveal containing the officers themselves was unnecessary. Why change what is one of the best parts of the franchise? And to have the main characters suffer a tragic loss in episode one when a) we've not even got to know Sally Breton's character yet, b) we'd only had the pregnancy revealed moments earlier and c) we've had no time to feel anything towards anyone felt like a sledgehammer attempt to keep us watching.
I was so utterly bored by the convuluted unbelievable story that I was yawning consby the end. I'll stick to Death In Paradise. This one's for the obsessed!!
Swinging (2005)
What happened to Swinging
I just looked up this excellent sketch show after watching Shakespeare and Hathaway with the brilliant Jo Joyner who appeared in many of the sketches. I Cant understand why I'm the first to put on a review and why I Cant seem to find any evidence of it's existence on YouTube or any of the other On Demand services or Prime or Netflix. Come on someone. This was an intelligent, hilarious, and often ground breaking sketch show which broke in a lot of actors who are now household names. Why is it so difficult to find now? Jo Joyner's sexually repressed sex therapist is one of the funniest characters I remember on TV. If anyone knows where I can find a copy of the series please let me know!
Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: Lot 36 (2022)
Very disappointing
This could have been a good children's horror story without all the swearing. But clearly this extremely derivative nonsense is aimed at adults. Adults who have lived long enough to have seen this all done before, only better, much much better. I've enjoyed del Tormo's films but here he seems to have lost his mojo. It's lazy non existent plot line and dialogue suggest it was written on the back of a cigarette packet. The style very much tries to recreate the atmosphere of a mixture of The Twilight Zone and Alfred Hitchcock Presents ultimately coming close to neither. Much of the scenes are so familiar the viewer needs no explanation even when something should have been said. But the jumping? Just a wee smidgen of an explanation for that might have helped. But no, the viewer is probably supposed to use their imagination. Ultimately very disappointing given what this guy is capable of.
I Came By (2022)
Utterly Abysmal
Surely Hugh Bonneville isn't so hard up he has to scrape the barrel for work! This is so poorly constructed, it felt like the writer/director wrote it on the back of a fag packet hoping to make a quick buck. The plot is wafer thin, characters dull and unlikeable, and the ending just plain naff! The modern day self entitled woke brigade are being pandered to. They come up with absolute dross but Channel 4 will publish anyway because like their parents before, they don't dare say no to them in case they have a hissy fit. Where have all the adults gone? This is most definitely a waste of time. Avoid at all costs. You have been warned!
The Undeclared War (2022)
Sad sad sad sad.
Great cast and writers manage to switch off anyone with a modicum of intelligence in the first episode. Many ridiculous nonsensical scenes the worst of which is the questioning of NSA (who work hand in hand with U. K. security services every day) being privy to hacking of U. K. internet services breach whilst allowing a newly appointed straight out of uni student full access. That's the point I switched off.
The Man from Toronto (2022)
Utterly abysmal
I'm not even going to spend time listing the minute by minute criticism I had during the film. Suffice to say it is juvenile, amateur writing, cgi by primary school kids and a waste of time and money. Avoid at all costs. If this is the future of film making I'm off to Switzerland on a one way ticket!!
The Cockfields: Thursday (2021)
What happened?
The first 3 episodes were marvellous. Very poignant funny and true. The first of the second series was ok but definitely a big drop in laughs. This episode was the most boring mundane humourless nonsense I've seen for a long time and a real detour from the original. I'll persevere but it had better regain some of its former hilarity or I'll be off.
Bad Education: Christmas (2013)
Explosion of stereotyping
Love this programme but this episode is its nadir. Dreadful script relying heavily on racist Scottish stereotyping and probably the worst nativity ever.
Mare of Easttown: Miss Lady Hawk Herself (2021)
Boring and so typical.
I'm now getting tired of writers and directors making these soap operas masquerading as crime dramas. If you like clever crime stories don't bother with this. However, if mediocre soaps are your thing go for it.
Breeders (2020)
A comedy about the very worst people
The very worst people are those who shout and swear at their kids. I was a cop for 20 years and have been involved with some of the poorest and dysfunctional families you can imagine but even amongst them a very tiny fraction swore as much as this in the presence of their children. I don't know anyone in our circle of friends and families that would have regular foul mouthed outbursts like this. The occasional slip up yes but nothing as extreme as this. And to those who think it's funny. It's not. You are just shallow.
Game of Thrones (2011)
Only watched first episode. That was enough!
It's so sad that we've now evolved into a race of easily satisfied, pseudo reality tv watching, brain fried morons, but it's fortunate for the makers of this type of dross that we have, otherwise an intelligent, critically thinking audience would never have given this nonsense the time of day. It is clearly a rip off of many ideas from Tolkien to I Claudius, from Homer to Peckinpah and finally Ray Harryhaussen!! Take elements from each, add graphic violence, sex and nudity and you've got a hit for any teenage boy. Unfortunately a large section of the viewing public now also have the limited intelligence of a teenage boy. So sad.
Good Girls: Find Your Beach (2020)
Utter Nonsense
I've enjoyed seasons 1 & 2 even though much of the ridiculous storylines have to be taken with a pinch of salt but having watched the incredibly boring first episode of season 3 I've decided enough's enough. The whole idea of counterfeiting is old hat and ridiculously improbable but that is as nothing to the fact that Jimmy the FBI agent has kept that dick of a gang boss alive, free and apparently on a promise of info but without the department being involved. Are we all being treated as 4 year olds now. Has Trumpism finally ripped the last braincell from the American public? Do yourself a favour and watch no more after the end of season 2!!
Outlander (2014)
Illiteracy from the off.
Having already read of the multitude of historical errors Gabaldon made in her books I really didn't want to watch this programme but I was persuaded to by friends and relatives who loved it. Reluctantly I began watching the first episode. Within the first 25 minutes an alleged learned historian makes the common mistake of using the word appraise instead of apprise and a few minutes later his wife describes her hobby as geneology instead of genealogy, again a common mistake by those not aquainted with the study but certainly not by those for whom it is a pastime. If such basic errors are not noticed or corrected within the first 25 minutes I have no doubt the rest of the series will be littered with lazy unnecessary errors. I switched off. I do hope you enjoy it but if like me you like accuracy in dramas then this is not for you.
A Quiet Place (2018)
Could Have Been A Lot Better
Once again we have a sci fi/horror where the aliens who have the intellect to have conquered interstellar space travel arrive on the planet simply to maraud the forests listening for food!! These aliens are blind but their hearing is highly attuned. The human protagonists have to ensure they do not make a sound otherwise the big ugly petal headed aliens will spring from nowhere and gobble them up! The humans live in a barn adjacent to a perfectly sound farmhouse and despite the dangers they leave every door open all day!! They have a sound proofed room in the basement of the barn but prefer to silently cook, eat and live in the main barn where they have to maintain absolute silence. Complete nonsense from start to finish. Don't even get me started on the ridiculous ending. Don't waste your time.
Upstart Crow (2016)
Mind Numbingly Awful Infantile Garbage
This does not even deserve a review. What on earth is Mitchell thinking doing this crap. He can't be desperate for money! Utter tripe masquerading as clever because it uses Shakespearian dialogue mixed with contemporary youth speak and mentions modern situations. It even has the audacity to have a character playing a 16th century Ricky Gervais in an attempt to deconstruct his style!! Ben Elton should just shut up and retire now. He's not fit to tie Gervais's shoelaces.
Plebs: The Vineyard (2019)
What The Hell Happened To Plebs
I've loved this programme since it first started. It's been hilarious and sometimes side splittingly funny. But that episode was utterly dreadful. Have the writers lost the plot or lost their love for the characters. Unfortunately since starting to write this I've just seen the second episode in what I will presume will be the last series. That second episode could have been written by primary school kids who appeared in it. It's so sad when a well loved programme goes one series too far and we're left with a bad memory of a beloved treasure. Sorry guys. I won't be watching any more.
Killing Eve: Sorry Baby (2018)
Could have been brilliant
So sad to see a potentially great international hitwoman/spy drama develop by episode 4 into Carry On Spying. I was thoroughly enjoying this but episode 4 was utterly ridiculous. I can take my brain out and put it to one side for all out comedies, fantasy, SciFi, etc but when an excellent drama/thriller changes pace at a stroke and becomes farcical nonsense I am not prepared to watch any further. I take it personally that the BBC think they can suddenly take the piss out of its viewers and treat them like the brain dead watchers of the likes of Love Island, TOWIE etc. Maybe the general intellectual vacuum which now exists as a result of the lack of thought provoking television is the reason. But I just feel so angry that everything we watch now has to be reduced to the intellectual capacity of the lowest common denominator in order to sell programmes. Watch if you lack critical thinking. Avoid if you don't.
Ghosts (2019)
Utterly Pathetic
Remove the dead pervert MP and this could be shown on CBeebies. It's level of humour is that of 5 to 10 year olds. Both Rentaghost and The Ghosts of Motley Hall were far better than this tripe and they weren't great. It truly saddens me that an ever increasing amount of adults are so lacking in intelligence and maturity that the BBC feel the need to cater for their vacuousness.
Warren (2019)
What on earth is Clunes thinking?
This is utterly abysmal. Even the worst comedies I've seen have at least one or two mild chuckles buried in them but this is humour free. The attempts at getting a laugh are straight out of The primary school playground. I cannot understand why a great comedy actor like Clunes thought for one moment this would be a success. He can't be this hard up. Don't bother. Avoid at all costs.
Manhunt (2019)
Good Drama Exposes The Deplorable Met and Surrey Police
It's ironic that a cast of actors mainly known for comedy roles should be performing in this drama. The whole disgraceful episode in policing would be comedic if it wasn't so tragic. The investigations into these terrible events was utterly incompetent and shambolic. It exposed the mistrust between English Police forces and their gross mismanagement. I can't believe they were about to leave a house where they'd searched for a murder suspect without having checked the attic and having to be told (luckily) by his wife that he was up there. Missing a statement of incredible significance right at the start and failing to do a CCTV review of a pertinent tape defies belief. Mistakes can be made as we are all human. But multiple failures of this nature are utterly unacceptable. Hang your heads in shame Surrey and The Met.
Doctor Who: Rosa (2018)
That's it! Can't sit quietly by any longer
This series is appallingly bad. The scripts have been utterly dreadful. The new Dr has been dressed in what can only be described as a clown outfit minus the big feet. Unsurprisingly many on here are decrying the political correctness of this new series. This is a family entertainment programme and as such a sprinkling of awareness of issues of race, feminism etc are perfectly acceptable in small doses but we have had these issues hammered into our faces with a sledgehammer over three episodes at the expense of good storytelling, entertainment value and fun. I won't be watching again. Such a shame.
Bosch (2014)
Formulaic Dross
This series epitomises the reason I no longer read crime fiction. If you're a budding trashy crime novel writer looking for cliches just watch any 10 minute segment of this nonsense and you'll pick up half a dozen or so. I truly feel the detective novel/movie has had its day. There is nothing new out there. The genre has become repetitive and boring. I can take no more of this nonsense particularly that of the American version. I find it astonishing that the general public still soak this stuff up. Avoid it unless easily pleased
Mr. Robot (2015)
Pretentious Drivel
After watching the excellent and very thought provoking pilot I had high hopes for this series. However, episode 2 made me begin to think it was written exclusively for computer geeks and by episode 3 which was at best an Andy Warhol back drop to an acid induced flower power rock video and at worst a pretentious prick on a big budget, I had come to realise that it was no longer being written by the same people that wrote the first episode!! Surely not!! Or else they had suddenly realised they'd no idea where to go with their creation and dropped a bad tab in their desperation and forgot to write a story!!! Seriously, what on earth were they playing at. Sometimes in the past I've seen some excellent episodesr in series where characters had already been well developed, and where an entire episode is devoted to a dramatically justified extraordinary one off. But to do that in the third episode is stupid, pointless and lazy. Maybe the rest of the series got better, I couldn't care less. They lost me with their pretentious BS!!