Nostromo21 Reviews

The Orville: Electric Sheep (2022) Season 3, Episode 1

This is not the Orville that I use to know...

[6/10 · 2 June 2022]

Not sure which first two seasons all the 10/10 fanboys watched, but it wasn't the same one I did. The Orville was always a Comedy-Drama - emphasis on the 'comedy'. This episode had none, zero, zilch. It was jarring. I can watch This Is Us for pure misery & despair. Not sure what Seth was thinking here for a season opener, but if you can't make jokes about controversial topics in your own comedy show, perhaps pick a different topic for the opener? Or take a good look at someone like Gervais, who does know how to make you laugh about any topic whatsoever. Thank God for Strange New Worlds if this is what the entire third season will be like, is all I can say. Not my Orville, sorry.

--- EDIT: ep 2 seems to be proceeding along the same all too serious path. Not sure where the original writers went but they've taken an easy 9-10/10 S1-2, down to a 5/10 poor Star Trek knock-off in S3. Watch Strange New Worlds instead folks & RIP Orville.

Moonfall (2022)

It's life Jim, but not as we know it...

[6/10 · 1 April 2022]

IF you go into this ignoring all the laws of physics, scientific principles and common sense, you may have some fun with it! ;) I've seen worse SFX, worse acting, worse editing, worse story/continuity...but not by much. The reason I gave it a 6 was because it was actually so bad in oh so many places, it was entertaining, with quite a few guffaw and lol moments.

Berry phones it in like she's been working at British Telecom for 30 years. Wilson tries, bless his heart. Bradley is...well, just Bradley (i.e. Tarley from GoT). The rest of the cast are as memorable as your last high school play's.

If they just had a director/editor with a modicum of logic, competence and even common sense, they may have salvaged something out of this. The actual plot and 'shtick' with the moon has been handled far more adroitly in many other books and movies, so they really didn't have an excuse to mis-handle all of the science this badly.

Good for the lulz and killing a couple hours, which you will definitely want back on your death bed. You have been forewarned - only for the sci-fanatics out there.

Master of None: Moments in Love, Chapter 1 (2021) Season 3, Episode 1

Master of What???

[27 May 2021]

What TF did I just start watching? Couldn't even get through 10 mins of this artsy fartsy self-indulgent drivel. Two women not saying anything, getting ready for bed, brushing teeth, doing laundry, laughing at some in-jokes we didn't even hear.

I think these are some minor bit characters from the 1st 2 seasons, but they are so unmemorable I can't be sure. Where TF is Dev???

No idea why they went down this path, unless they had too many fans/viewers after the 1st 2 seasons lol. Not interested Netflix. Way to bring a 9/10 series down to an average of 6/10 (if you're lucky). Who approved this garbage and did you even bother to run it past any non-lesbian (there, I said it!) focus groups??? FFS.

The Current War (2017)

For the record....

[3 April 2021]

Tesla was born in Smiljan, which is near Split on the Croatian coast. Yes, his parents were ethnic Serbs, but that does not make him one. He was raised in modern day Croatia. If anything, he is more Austrian than Serb given his schooling & the region then being part of the Austrian empire.

So, I find it rather amusing how many Serbs here are complaining about Edison appropriating ides from him, while they are more than happy to mis-ppropriate his entire culture and upbringing!

Tenet (2020)

Pretentious in an untimely manner...?

[6/10 · 28 November 2020]

*** POSSIBLE MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD ***

Ok, I don't review many titles, but I feel the need to address this self-agrandizing Nolan 'epic' for what it is. And that is, a quasi-scientific bunch of hooey about a topic that clearly neither Nolan nor his target audience know much about. Having studied time, causality, quantum mechanics, GR/SR & a number of other time-related branches of physics, I have to say, I was quite under-whelmed by this one-trick pony. So much that I found it almost as annoying as Memento, or Matrix 2 & 3, a couple other one-trickers. Before you jump to conclusions, yes, I got it, I understood what it was all about, while piecing together the barely-heard conversations & expositions at several points in the film - turn down the effing music Nolan - I can listen to classical music any time I want without having to strain to hear someone bloody well speaking about major plot points!

The main issue I have with Tenet is that it's all sci-fi nonsense & barely good sci-fi at that, mostly fantasy actually. Real physics aside, it just wasn't entertaining once you get the 'trick'. It just tried too hard to pander to neo-intelletuals with quasi-science causality mini-loops splattered throughout. Not to mention the motivations of the main bad guy are non-sensical, except for a completely insane psycopath who somehow manages to keep everyone loyal around him in the dark...because if they even had an inkling of what he wanted to achieve, why in God's name would anyone NOT completely insane ever help the maniac??? It's patently absurd & ridiculous with a number of glaring inconsistencies & plot holes that most will just gloss over. Even as pure entertainment I felt that my intelligence was being insulted, and I'm certainly no genius-level intellect! I can only imagine how all the poor career physicists must feel out there, to see their life's work assaulted by Hollywood like this yet again...

In the end, it's about as satifying as invert sugar (pun intended). Watch at your own risk if you have 2.5 hrs to kill you definitely won't want back on your death bed. For the rest of you with some sense, I recommend you watch Primer instead if you want a more 'realistic' foray into time & causality loops, without the big budget, car chases & CGI explosions. You have been warned. 6/10 (mostly for Caine, Pattinson & the scenery)

Grand Designs: House of the Year: The final (2015) Season 4, Episode 4

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...

[1 December 2019]

...and clearly the UK judges awarding the win to the latest 2019 house know neither beauty nor have an eye for what should remotely qualify as a house of the year!

The white & grey 'budget barnhouse' is more of a work shed, with just one bathroom and completely looks out of place in its surroundings. Interior is uninspired with neutral colours grossly overdone to cover up its cheapness (sorry owners, 350K pounds just shouldn't get you a HotY anywhere in the world!). Interiors are plain and sterile looking, fireplaces (canara stoves) look completely misplaced...no wonder the architect (why did it even need one lol?) & owners were so shocked to find out they'd won!

So many far superior, innovative and creative, houses made with love throughout the series - even in the last episode the 1st and last houses were far superior and worthy of the award in almost every way imaginable, even the shortlisted one with the odd shape deserved the award more. I really don't know what the judges are smoking in the UK these days.

Before Midnight (2013)

Last hour redeems & exceeds any expectations!

[8/10 · 1 August 2013]

It's incredible how the director turned a very 'meh' 1st 40 mins, which had me asking 'what is this movie, where is it going...?', into a tour- de-force of intimate relationship(s).

In the last hour, from when Jesse and Celine go off alone, I was simple spellbound & forgot time existed. I WAS invested & a part of that r/ship, I was an active participant with all the feelings & emotional roller coaster ride that a long term r/ship at a crossroads can create inside you. We've followed this romance & r/ship for 18 years, so anything lesser in the direction & handling of this would have been a disaster. But the finale (if it is that) was just incredible & almost surreal. Bravo to Linklater, bravo to all the stars.

9/10 for last hour (with a couple 10/10 moments in the conversation); 6/10 for the 1st 40mins, so 8/10 overall. Can't wait for when the couple are almost 50, which is where my wife & I are - I dealy hope Hawke & Delpy are around to do at least 1 more, to give all of us middle-aged going on old couples a look into our recent past & what could have been, what may be & perhaps what is. This is what all dramatic cinema should aspire to - simple, raw, brilliant simplicity & truth between two human beings in love.

Stargate Universe: Incursion: Part 2 (2010) Season 1, Episode 20

Cliffhanger....or mental incursion?

[5/10 · 12 June 2010]

I thought the ep was quite good for the 2nd in a 2 part...right up until the very end. Do so many series really have to so blatantly & artificially force/create a 'cliffhanger' at the end of every season ffs? 2 points taken off for that. Look at True Blood for a great example of how to wind up a (2nd) season & yet still leave the viewer aching for more.

Other than that...

The good: the time Eli & Chloe spend together, more Rhona in leather chaps & some of the tension/racing against time.

The bad: the aforementioned ending, minor plot holes & ongoing lack of comic relief, what made SG1 & Atlantis so great imo.

The show needs to drop its attempts to copy the 'realism' of BSG & find its own way/niche into the 2nd season. I, for one, have had enough sci-fi despair, darkness & hopelessness without any comic relief after BSG to last me a decade.

Flightplan (2005)

More holes than Independence Day!

[3/10 · 25 February 2006]

The only redeeming feature of Flightplan is that kept you mildly entertained to the end, which was gratefully not too drawn out i.e. it wasn't a 2hr+ academy-wannabe-crapfest, but only a 1.5hr crapfest, thankfully.

This movie must have one of the most ridiculously contrived plots of all time I must say! And it seems to be just another vehicle for Foster's feminist lesbian "I never wanna kiss or be with a man on screen again" BS. At least in this one she has a husband, even if he's dead at the start LOL, unlike Panic Room where there was an immaculate conception & no man anywhere to be seen! I don't dislike Foster, but she's really strayed from the movies that made her great & she doesn't seem to make any effort to connect with her audience any more, but only seems to make movies that have some "message" or "artistic" worth only she can see. This one really borders on the ridiculous as far as suspension of disbelief goes and as another poster said, it just throws way too much misleading irrelevancy into the fray which only detracts & distracts from a plot which really can't afford it.

Gone are your great days of Silence, Nell, The Accused & Contact Ms Foster.

Paycheck (2003)

Not a bad action flick - just leave your analytical engines at the door...

[7/10 · 20 March 2004]

Yes, an above average action/suspense/thriller, that requires a fair degree of 'suspension of disbelief' for you not to get too critical. All the plot holes we've come to expect from Hollywood & some poor casting decisions. Even though there are no wows, ooohs or aaahs, it's fairly 'gripping' (I use that term lightly) stuff from start to finish; nothing edge of the seat, but entertaining nonetheless.

If you'd like a comparative analysis, try Minority report (even though I thought that title a little better overall, plus more sci-fi-ish to my taste). It's hard to imagine they wrote this without begin 'influenced', at least to some degree, by that title. 7/10

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

Oh dear me...

[2/10 · 20 March 2004]

Yup, why would we want to go see a movie by a guy who calls himself "Rob Zombie"??? Because we're idiots, plain & simple. Well, I got sucked in by my stoopid daughter, but then it was her 20th b'day so I couldn't well refuse *huge Shrek sigh*. On to the movie (I use that term very loosely). A splatterfest (with almost no splatter) montage with less point to it than Bloodsucking Freaks (now THERE'S a classic I recommend instead! >;-). Almost no real scary moments. If you do acid trips this is the movie for you. From Dusk Till Dawn is to it what Gladiator is to Hercules. The fact that this clown is makin money off of this kind of trash is symptomatic of the direction Hollywood is heading in - even the independents are turning to formula trash & hoping some crappy 'cinematography' (again, loosely) will create a cult classic. What else can you say when the top 2 scores on IMDB are a 1 AND a 10, weighing in at almost 20% each!? Just goes to show, at least 20% of any movie audience are *really* f#$ked up! Worst part about it: the one naked body that may have redeemed the whole movie by about 5% never quite got there. Oh well... 2/10, & that only because I won't give him the pleasure.

Dog Soldiers (2002)

Arrrooooooooo, werewolves of Scotland!

[8/10 · 3 August 2003]

What can one say? If I tried to describe this puppy (pardon the pun!) I'd have to say a combo of Evil Dead, From Dusk till Dawn (2nd half), Bad Taste + any chessy werewolf movie you care to name. But it's the cheese factor in this one that will keep you coming back. This ain't no war movie folks. :-)

A must see 2 or 3 times I reckon. Enjoy! ;-)

Mulholland Drive (2001)

Huh?

[1/10 · 1 August 2003]

I'm sure there are plenty of artsy-fartsy ppl out there (as shown by the user comments) who enjoyed this movie. Me, I like to be *entertained* by a movie, or have some sort of emotion or thought provoked. The only ones that this movie provoked was 'WTF?' & 'nice tits Naomi'. Lynch is a has-been who'd be better off making coffee, though I certainly wouldn't be drinking it.

My last Lynching ever...0/10.