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Reviews
Nautilus (2024)
Weak. Generic. A Predictable 2024 Adaptation.
It's poor. It's weak & predictable. About as gripping as lubed sausages. All contempory generic themed boxes are ticked. And worst of all, a near total disregard for the source material.
The script is weak & unoriginal. The acting is painfully poor; but what can you expect with such thin creative threads to hold on to.
It's just a bit of an unsure jittery mess.
P. S. If your going to run with the anti Anglo-imperialist theme (which I'm all for being Scots-Irish) you have to be honest about it. British troops in India were predominantly Indian. Empires have always utilised the manpower of the lands they rule. Plenty of Irish men served in the British army. And you have to be more nuanced than white men are bad, white women & people of colour are good.
Give the writing some depth.
The Penguin (2024)
Decent. Very Watchable.
I don't think it's as good as some say, it's not a Sopranos, but, it's decent; very watchable.
The casting is good as is the writing, directing...
The acting deserves a mention as it's solid. The lead actor & actress are very good.
However, we'll see how the series & ultimately the complete show plays out. Could well end up a classic.
There's not much more to say.
The are negatives. The show is not for the young, which is, at best, ironic considering the source material. I do have an issue with the corruption of children's characters & stories for the adult market. There is something creepy about that. Something socially unhealthy. Where does it end? A Tarantino Teletubies starring Sam Jackson as Tinky-Winky?
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Wonder Woman 1984? I'm Left Wondering Why.
So awful I started watching The Rings Of Power instead & that's saying something. Disclaimer: I didn't get through that either.
I mean... After watching one of these kind of films, 90% of the time I'm left asking myself, who has this been made for?
The film is hard to follow & all over the place.
In terms of the casting of Wonder Woman (and I'll prefix this by stating I'm European) isn't Wonder Woman a reflection of America? The stars and stripes knickers and all that.
Gal Gadot is pretty enough, but quiet generically bonnie & she definitely isn't a Wonder Woman (I saw that Imagine debacle during covid). No offence, but go to Brazil, go to Rio & hang around one of the better hotel bars there, Gadots are ten to the dozen.
Wonder Woman reflects the American flag, red (lips), white (skin) & blue (eyes).
At the very least, understand the character & get casting right.
Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)
?
Nowhere near as good as the current IMDB rating suggests.
Far, far too many, deep, deep in on the joke, jokes, which alienates.
Unless you are a student of Marvel you're lost.
I've watched the Marvel (character) hit films, the X-Men & the Avengers, but there are parts of the Marvel Cinematic Universe I've missed & that lack of fandom left me scratching my head throughout a lot of this film.
I did get a kick out of seeing Blade. Blade being the original Marvel comic book character hit trilogy of films, a fact Disney would like you to forget.
Anyway, it was okay. Just too chaotic and too vaudeville (deep insider in on the joke) one-liners.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
A True Masterpiece
This film is a true masterpiece. Elegant & enthralling, this film lulls you into the world of Tolkien from second one.
The casting is inspired as is the music score. So beautiful & so welcome.
I rank it alongside, Lawrence Of Arabia, as one of the most beautiful cinematic projects ever to come to screen.
No dodgy accents & no dodgy casting. The writing, the adaptation, is respectful & truly brings the magic of the book to screen.
There's not much more to say. I'm just trying to make up the characters now in order to post this review. Alba gu brath. And look to the ground before looking up.
Colin from Accounts (2022)
Best Post Covid English language Sitcom
Very good. Relatable. Likeable characters. It's that simple.
It isn't condescending & doesn't pander to neo PC ideology. In fact the show shines a subtle light upon many of today's ridiculous extreme social sensitivities.
Both leads are outstanding as are the majority of the supporting cast.
It's blunt in its traditional Anglo/Australian storytelling & this only makes it more relatable, ergo, endearing.
There's not much more to say. Oh! The dog. I feel like the dog could be more professional. I find its onscreen persona lacking. A few more animal acting lessons wouldn't go amiss. And I'm sure it's faking its disability. I feel that, in this day an age, a disabled dog should be employed for a disabled dog's part. Tut. Tut.
Borderlands (2024)
Who Has This Been Made For?
This film is not good.
1. Who has this, Sci-fi film, been made for? Who is the target audience?
Definitely not the standard Sci-fi audience as they are male. Not the female audience as they tend not to dig Sci-fi; so....
2. The film itself is a poor Guardians Of The Galaxy (volume one) knock off with a neo feminist vibe.
Basically, after watching this I'm not surprised it has lost millions; because there isn't a notable audience for it & the film itself is silly and self-indulgent. Kate Blanchett (God bless her) is now pushing 60 & Kevin Hart can't carry this.
If you want to make a Sci-fi movie that has any chance of making money, one that has a built-in audience, cast a masculine, handsome male lead & a sexy as... strong willed female. Make it fun, action packed/exciting & titillating.
END OF.
Things to Come (1936)
Beautiful & Fascinating & Sadly Still Relevant.
Wonderful English scifi giving a fascinating insight into the future & past & future...
This could only of been made in England at this time due to several reasons. Primarily the country's experience during The Great War (1914 to 1918) which loomed heavy in the public psyche along with the fear that, the war to end all wars, was a lie, for the rise of Nazi Germany was on their doorstep.
The Great War (the war to end all wars) was less than 20 years old.
Those of us who knew people who lived at this time, know from them, that by the mid 30s war was on the lips of many.
From the fear of invasion, of mustard gas & trenches to the growing Labour movement which was giving the working class hope & the upper class worry, coupled by advancements in industry, art & scientific invention, from this social soup came, THINGS TO COME.
3 years from the release date of this film WWII had begun.
Followed by the Korean war. Followed by the Vietnam war. Followed by The Falklands war. Followed by the first gulf War... & many others in-between & after.
Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
10 Out Of 10 For Beauty. A Must See Cinema Experience.
It's beautiful. Stunningly beautiful. A must see in the cinema. There is little point watching this at home & reviewing. Wait for special viewings at your local picture house & go. It is simply the most beautiful film ever made.
Some films will bring tears to your eyes with moments of sadness in the story being told, but Lawrence Of Arabia is the only film ever made that will bring tears to your at the sheer & absolute beauty of what is on screen. But! To reiterate, this must be seen in the cinema.
The story & direction, casting & acting, editing & everything else is excellent.
And the music! I haven't even mentioned the music.
The Instigators (2024)
A Fun Original Film Made For Adults
It's a good Sunday afternoon feet up watch. Grab your snacks & enjoy.
Starts a touch slow but builds. All the actors do their job.
The biggest selling point for this film, is that, it is an actual original non-condensing fun film made for adults. And these days that's very rare. No remake, gender role reversal, super hero, victim chic in sight.
The film isn't going to pull up trees. The script & direction/editing could have been better, but it is a solid 6.8 & as such it's enjoyable.
There's not much more to say without sounding pretentious.
This film is for popcorn & relaxation. The purpose of this film is at the heart of why movies are made; simply to entertain.
Time Bandits (2024)
Fraud! Not Time Bandits
Time Bandits was the quintessential English fantasy story & due to that eccentric English otherworldly walk though fantasy, the panic & cup of tea approach, it attracted success & a cult status love.
This isn't Time Bandits.
They've woke it for, who?
I dunno. This must stop at some point.
So, it's fraud. This is not Time Bandits. The characters & MP-esque Lewis Carroll quality is gone.
I'm really annoyed. I love the original film. It's gloriously twisted, cruel, funny & frightening. It's sinister & sweet. This watery safe space of a desk drawer paperclip is pathetic.
The original, it's stars, creators & fans deserved much more respect.
A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)
Enough! Boys Need To See Strong, Masculine Men.
The femsle lead does a great job. Very physically expressive.
A stretched faced botox infused actress obviously could not do the same.
However! This film is annoying. As a man a want to see strong masculine men again, not screaming, hysterical, selfish wimps.
I get it, all women are strong and powerful & men are subordinate to their strength.
Enough!
Art has to reflect life. Boys need to see strong masculine men who protect not endanger women.
This film could have been great if it just gave us the best of life reflected in art.
Young Boys need to learn to be strong when things go upside down otherwise we, the Western democratic world, won't be here.
It's getting beyond annoying to sinister, Hollywood!
And I'm not some Conservative flag waver. I'm a working class traditional Scottish socialist.
Hot Air (2018)
Better Than Current IMDB Rating Suggests
I gave this film a 7 & that's fair.
This film is a good old-fashioned, feet up, Sunday afternoon popcorn munching watch.
It's sweet.
Everyone involved does their job.
This film deserves better than its current middle of the road rating. I can only imagine it has gathered some negative ratings due to some perceiving this film as having elements that attack the American right? I dunno?
Overall, I think this is a story about human connections & how those genuine connections can have an affect.
If anything, I believe this film highlights the folly of disconnect masquerading as genuine human interaction; regardless of political stance.
The Night Manager (2016)
So Silly. Les Dawson Does Spying.
I mean, even if you haven't read the book, the character portrayed by Olivia Coleman is ridiculous. I'm a fan of her work, but, this portrayal in so silly. I'm presuming it's not her fault but the writers. Les Dawson does spying. As if... Completely threw me out of the fantasy.
Episode 3 recap: You go down there and you slap him. You're a bad man. A psycho...
Oh! I started laughing. It's just daft. And I am northern & working class.
Yeah. So what could have been a very enjoyable adaptation was let down by the ridiculousness of one character.
Ooh! You hear me right. You're a bad man. You slap him.
Oh. No.
The Boys: We'll Keep the Red Flag Flying Here (2024)
Season 4 Has Taken A Downturn...
Season 4 has taken a downturn & this episode finally turned me off. I shan't be watching anymore. It feels like nagging.
There's just too much of an obvious political propagandised slant to the writing; without the fun.
Normal folk, working class folk, watch escapist TV not to feel the creepy contemporary stroke of political agenda. They watch to escape these things. Obviously all writing, all art, reflects reality but these days there is far too much art trying to affect... devoid of balance.
In season 4 It's just all too full-on. It's no longer fun. It's tiresome & not clever or inspiring in anyway. I feel like I'm being nagged.
Bikie Wars: Brothers in Arms (2012)
Please! Stop The Attempt At A Scottish Accent
Within seconds of the start there was this attempt at a Scottish accent. It travelled from Berlin to Springfield & got nowhere near Scotland.
More often than not you get English actors trying to do a Scottish accent and their attempts travel all round Scotland, hitting Ireland on the way, with occasional dips back into England & it's painful to listen to for a native. But! This was really bad. I don't think it hit anywhere in Scotland. Nowhere I've heard of.
Remember! Scotland is a nation with different regions & different accents. There is not a generic Scottish accent. There is a posh kid, trying to be English, Scottish accent that has developed in the past 20 years & there is the Morningside posh, trying to be English, accent, but if you want to do an accent from Scotland & you're not Scottish, pick a place or go posh.
I couldn't get past the bad accent.
CBGB (2013)
A Film Is Rated On Your Enjoyment & I Enjoyed This.
I can understand folk who were there or were around when this scene was happening being disparaging when it comes to this film. Historical inaccuracies & varying viewpoints of a time & place when presented after the fact (in film form) for the entertainment of others can be annoying to those who experienced the reality. However! This film is better than the current imdb rating suggests. I throughly enjoyed it. I'm surprised it doesn't have a more enthusiastic audience.
Rickman is a master of his craft & the casting overall is okay. But this film is just an accessible jolly romp of a story.
Which it. Except it is a fictionalised version of the truth & enjoy.
Lawless (2012)
Excellent.
Had a really good Sunday following on from a relaxed Saturday when I went for a good long walk. So Sunday was marked for nothing except food, feet up & watching a few films.
I stuck Lawless on about 2 pm. The first of 3 films watched that day and by far the best.
Shia & Tom have very good onscreen chemistry in this movie, as do all the cast.
Everything is excellent. From the cast, story, direction & everything in between, it's all excellent.
My misses made me a melted brie on bacon with cranberry sauce toasted sandwich whilst watching this; it was perfect. It was a perfect day.
Good stuff.
Tenet (2020)
Too Much & Too Little
This was just too much & lost in itself. There was no thread left to centre yourself in this whirlpool spinning out of control to mediocrity.
The lead doesn't have the onscreen gravitas to carry a film. The whole production was poorly cast.
The film wasn't engaging. It ended up viewing as very silly.
I was hoping for something enjoyable but got something that ended up being a bit of a grind for me to watch until the end.
All the colours sat in their pots but the brushes were cheap & the artist had the tremors from a late night of drinking.
Some may enjoy it. But I can't see it appealing to the masses.
Civil War (2024)
It Was Okay. But Wanting. Missing Authenticity.
I echo what others have said about the teenager girl character; the character is silly & unauthentic.
There is an unauthentic feel to the whole film. These 4 people neither look like or act like war journalists. The closest to a war journalist, probably is the female lead character.
For this film to work, it was so important for the audience to relate, to connect, in order to believe. This film plays like an earnest middle-class teenager's idea of the USA in the midst of a modern civil war.
This also watches like it was created by someone who doesn't know Americans. I am not an American but I'm married to one. I have spent a lot of time in the country & have travelled around it. The vast majority of Americans, regardless of political views, strike me as warm & welcoming. Reality is, they are just like others in Western first world countries & beyond.
America has its extremist eliminates like everywhere else, but, I don't buy into Americans, on mass, acting like Hillbillies on a buck shoot.
Americans love their armed services.
A US civil war wouldn't happen in this way & these 4 don't behave like war correspondents.
Tires (2024)
Satisfactory. Most Satisfactory.
Mr Billis has done a most satisfactory job with this serialised comedic play of fools. I especially liked the setting.
Having worked in the field of tyres for over a decade, I can tell you one thing, tyres aren't easy. They can be a cruel fish.
I call tyre work, rubbing rubber, because tyres is a life of rubbing up against rubber.
Interesting fact: The phrase, rub of the green, actually comes from tyre work. The old Dunlop racing range of tyres used by Jaguar F1 in the early 50s, came with a green line that encircled the rim. These tyres were very successful for Jaguar, hence the phrase, rub of the green, meaning, to be lucky.
99 (2024)
FANTASTIC. Time Travel
I remember these times. I am a Scottish Hibs fan. Nevertheless, this year, was framed by this Manchester United team. The footballing world could not ignore their on field magic.
E. G. The night my future wife first introduced me to her father, Inter Milan vs Man Utd was showing on the big screen TV in the pub we met. I remember desperately trying to maintain my composure. But the excitement of these Manchester Utd games were infectious.
I watched the English FA Cup final in the pub with a few pals & it was just one of those great days; full of youth driven fun.
The evening of the European Cup final, which was electric viewing that had me & my pals 100% behind the red devils (which is understandable due to Scotland's links with this great club), was the evening I first told my future wife that I loved her.
All these moments tied to these events depicted so masterfully in this documentary.
Watching it I almost felt 21 again.
Abigail (2024)
Fun, Popcorn Shovelling Watch.
Good old fashioned fun film.
I enjoyed this movie. It isn't going to change the world, but it's not supposed to. It's just fun.
I would not watch this movie if you want to be scared, but if you simply want to be entertained, go for it.
Very good cast, well directed & written. It obviously doesn't have a massive budget but it doesn't need one. Everyone did a good job.
There really isn't much more to say.
In conclusion: This is a good old-fashioned popcorn shoveling fun watch. Cartoon violence. No sex scenes or laboured PC lecturing. It's just fun. 6 out of 10 is a fair score. Maybe even a wee bit stingy.
Unfrosted (2024)
I Dunno. I Watched It.
There was no story. Like an odd collection of sketches sewn together with gibberish string.
Like a really fancy knickerbocker glory made out of milky glue & cotton wool. It was missing quality. The stars were there but the laughs weren't. Although, the Jackie Kennedy buying hats line made me laugh.
I've given a 4, but It's probably a 3. I gave it a 4 because I'm grrrrreat. There you go, that's funnier than anything in the film & I am not a funny man. I can't tell jokes & find others misfortune humorous. I am wanting as a human being. Nevertheless, this does not diminish my capability to determine this film is at best average. And I'm being generous.
Land of Bad (2024)
Goodies Vs Baddies. Classic Recipe. Good Stuuf.
It is just old-fashioned goodies versus baddies stuff. The acting is good, the directing is good.
It's just solid viewing & I thoroughly enjoyed a lazy saturday afternoon watching it.
However, the lead character's clumsy/goofy behaviour at the start of the film is a touch overplayed. There is an incident which you'll find yourself rolling your eyes at. As if he'd be that naive in his position.
Russell Crowe is great; as he often is. But! He could do with shifting some of that bulk. Lay of the beer & pies.
But if you want a cracking weekend afternoon feet up watch, this film fits the slot. Namaste pee stains.