nolan-09154 Reviews

EXmas (2023)

Veronica is cool

[2/10 · 4 December 2023]

Turned this one on for the sole reason that Veronica (actor, singer, comedienne, jack of all trades) had a supporting role and we got some good schtick out of it.

Other than that this movie was pretty painful to sit through. Mainly the leading (ex)couple, Graham is such a smug unlikable character and the whole movie is smarmy to the nth degree. Tries to pull at your heartstrings towards the end to no effect. What made it worse than a hallmark movie is that it's trying to feel like a real movie yet still running through the same tropes of a hallmark movie (works too much, goes home to small town USA, falls in love, learns the meaning of family) I suppose some of these are Christmas movie staples but executed like a hallmark movie. #4 trending in Canada, can't say we have great taste!

Bones and All (2022)

Bandlands meets Near Dark

[8/10 · 4 December 2022]

Great movie experience with a wide range of emotions. Watching this I was reminded badlands with the character Lee being reminiscent of Badlands' Kit, a troubled lost youth that has embraced his situation leaving a trail of blood wherever he goes. The film also reminded me of Near Dark in the sense that they're drifters blowing from town to town and then commiting these heinous acts of violence. Likewise it has an unconditional western feel to it combined with an unconventional love story similar to Near Dark. The introductory scene of Lee's character where he stands up for Marin in the grocery and later approaches her in the parking lot after eating the aggressive man is a bold testament to his character and the ride of a relationship, doomed from the begging, we will see unfold in the next 2 hours. This film has a clear direction in the first half in which Marin is trying to reconnect with her mother, get some answers or guidance on her hunger. During this journey Lee and Marin's relationship grows stronger as Lee is teaching her his way of embracing the hunger with no remorse. After Marin meets her mother, the movie shifts gears as there is now no clear objective and we watch as Lee and Marin's relationship repel one another at first but then grows as they agree to deal with the hunger Marin's way. This is kept up quite well until ol' Sully pops in, this leads to Sully getting stopped and killed to a very gorey end and Lee getting fataly wounded in the process. The movie closes with Lee asking Marin to eat him and in a weird, violent, powerfully emotional sort of way she fulfills his final wishes. This was one of the most shocking scenes I've seen in a while (@Crimes of the future), the romantic blissful soundtrack during this scene was truly the icing on the top. This movie pushed the boundaries with the audience, I absolutely loved the fact one couple left mad 1 minutes till credits. From the mood, strong characters, and the variety of interesting and off-putting side characters they meet along the road, I thoroughly enjoyed this film. I won't be forgetting this one anytime soon.

Halloween Ends (2022)

What do you people want!?!

[8/10 · 21 October 2022]

I was really dragging my feet going to this one but seeming that I had seen the previous 2 in theatres I thought what the hell. I went into this one prepared for a similar experience to Halloween Kills, this time ready to laugh and not take it so seriously. I was very surprised how much David Gordon Green and crew changed it up, but why so late in the franchise! I think the horrific flop of H-Kills was a silver lining! I'll give a few pros and cons I had with this movie:

Pros:

Corey Cunningham! I loved this character how he was the new protagonist turned antagonist he had great character development and transformation. His conflict and love with Alison gave her a better character arc as well!

The shift in power/soul from Michael to Corey was so creative and felt so fresh in the lore of The Shape. I know its a Halloween movie but we don't need Michael Meyers its the manifestation of evil that lives within Michael that's the true threat. I loved the team-up kills and possession aspect where weak old Michael is using young-strong Corey to kill and try to regain strength

Lastly the kills were so fun and not extreme CGI Rambo/John Wick kills like in the 2018 reboot. It felt like horror back to its roots, practical effects and fun gore not cringe inducing gross out shock horror.

Our fun prankster friend Michael returned! (Opening fall, pinning the nurse to the wall and the record store tongue kill were things of beauty **muahh kisses hand

Cons:

The ending, why wedge in yet another Laurie/Michael fight. And they didn't follow through on Corey's arc! Kill Michael and have Corey sit up at the end of the movie (He's the new Shape, the transformation is complete!) I know this suggests sequel bait but I think that would have been a fitting ending.

Less boring a** Laurie strode please. And what was with that half-a**ed love story with Laurie and the old man who we're supposed to know.

Overall I thought this was a great finale and change up in the trilogy, people complain they want something different and then they get it and complain it's not more of the same! Get off your high-horse people it's a Halloween movie that delivers! Enjoy!

Savage Harbor (1987)

These 2 Bozos are dripping with charisma

[5/10 · 28 May 2022]

You guessed it... .

. .

. .

Frank Stallone.

All said and done it was entertaining at times and my first Frank Stallone feature, can't say It disappointed.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Felt like an Edgar Wright movie

[5/10 · 15 April 2022]

I enjoyed this movie but there were definitely a lot of moments I felt a little embarriced to be there. The movie itself wasn't anything I've never seen before going off the plotline trend of movies like the matrix, Lego movie, free guy (ordinary person becomes hero and unlocks and learns their full potential through trial and error). The quirkiness and craziness is definitely it's selling point which makes it unique in its own way but gets cringey as it tries to hold its momentum and maintain the chaoticness for the grandiose finale. Felt very Scott pilgrim-ey, Edgar Wright would have loved to make this movie, I also thought the whole multiverse thing was really pushed in the wake of this new marvel narrativev and the Anthony/Joe Russo producer credits make that a little suspect. Overall decent but a little cringe, nice moral of the story (we need more positive messages in films)

King Richard (2021)

I think that me and my friend are ready to go pro.

[5/10 · 11 April 2022]

Nacho libre rip-off

I'm joking but this movie wasn't that good, will smith keeps changing accents and kind of baffling how he won best actor for this performance. I was enjoying the movie and then as it progressed got pretty stale dipping more into melodrama and wasn't learning anything new about the characters. Also wtf accent was Jon Bernthal trying to do? I thought Brooklyn then Boston then towards the last act it morphed into a mix between Eastern Canadian and Baltimore. Many of us will end up watching it due to Will Smith's oscar but I guess what were we expecting?

Parole Violators (1994)

Unreal B Action Movie

[8/10 · 27 March 2022]

Took a chance on this one after seeing a RLM best if the worst and seeing the positive reviews and this movie does not disappoint from the heavy gunfire, explosions, roundhouse kicks to the driving synth soundtrack that never lets up for a second in the movie. This movie kicked ass, made me laugh and kept me entertained, that's the mark of a b movie gem.

Weird Science (1985)

Embarassing Creepy

[1/10 · 12 February 2022]

Retarded movie, terrible acting, creepy at times with them being 14/15 years old. Got pretty racist in the blues bar. Robert Downey Jr sucks to look at. Nice 80s look and feel but I found myself hating myself at about the halfway mark and wanted to quit. Stuck through to the end and it didn't get much better. Chet is kinda funny.

American Rickshaw (1989)

I'm sure you're familiar with AIDS.

[7/10 · 9 September 2021]

Not your typical B movie schlock. I've had this one on my shelf for about 6 months now and finally built up the nerve to sit down and watch it and it did not disappoint! A storyline so chalked full of confusing twists and turns, most of which prove to be completely unnecessary, American Rickshaw confuses and then kind of explains it all by the end of the movie. It's a headscratcher and rightfully so as most low budget Italian American films turn out to be in this era of B movies. Some hilarious scenes (Jeans shower, Aids threat and of course Donald Pleasance pig transformation) as well as some genuinely well done practical effects (burning key, Donald Pleasance pig transformation). If you're into these types of movies this one definitely isn't your average bad movie, it has its own charm and wild storyline. I Very much recommend!

Fear Street: Part One - 1994 (2021)

Neon Lighting isn't Style

[3/10 · 14 July 2021]

Gave this one a shot as I was kinda excited about the new horror trilogy promoted on Netflix and it's off to a bad start. The opening scene was the strongest part of the movie, good horror tropes and cliches that worked. Then the story began to form and got introduced to the rag tag group of teenagers and all their melodrama (And not good melodrama, reality tv badly scripted melodrama). This movie could have been interesting but they really half arsed the whole 1994 setting as the only 90s thing was the soundtrack and the AOL chat. I'll give part 2 a chance as people seem to enjoy it more! Hoping they commit to more horror tropes and have some fun with it!

Hercules in New York (1970)

I hate Pretzie

[2/10 · 28 May 2021]

The first 30 ish minutes of this movie are worth the watch. You get; Arnold in a sailors suit and cap, Arnold doing track and field, Arnold fighting a man in a bear costume in central park. When the mob shows up you could probably quit the movie. Also after this mark you have to endure another full hour of Pretzie and his stupid face, voice and all the other bulls**t that is Pretzie. Arnold's bits are worth the watch in the first leg of the movie then he gets phased out throughout the movie to include useless plot points and Pretzie. Give it a watch I guess, you won't enjoy it but you may get a few laughs in the first 20-30 minutes.

Partners (2009)

Making It Up On the Go

[2/10 · 18 February 2021]

I finally found this one after hearing about it from redlettermedia and man, what a piece of crap. Everything felt improvised and tossed together like they had no idea what they were doing. Extreme close ups, terrible improvised lines (Car scene before picking up Peshka or whatever his name was), and the length!!! Most bad movies barely have enough story to make it to the 90 minute mark, well this movie felt like that but had a 130 minutes run time. Dreadful, the only reason I give it 2 stars instead of 1 is that Chris Iengo is hilarious to watch with his jersey accent and mannerisms, everything else sucked. I honestly wouldn't recommend because of the length.

Edit* The movie is only an hour and 40 minutes but said 2 hours and 10 minutes on IMDb. Had me tricked though cause it definately felt like 2 hours and minutes!

Love on a Leash (2011)

2 or an 8

[8/10 · 20 January 2021]

This movie was terrible, but. Every scene with the dog and the voice over is amazing. Crazy movie but gets boring toward the end when the dog isn't in it anymore to shine and be sassy. One of a kind in the bad movie universe

Punch-Drunk Love (2002)

My favorite movie*

[10/10 · 18 January 2021]

This is one of my all time favorites. I'm writing this review after my second viewing of the film and it blew me away again. I've yet to see all the PTA films and this one is easily in my top 3 if not my favorite. I get so attached to Sandler's character Barry and you feel for him. The romance is executed so perfectly with the gorgeous score that fits the emotions of the scenes so well. On top of this, Phillip Seymour Hoffman is perfect in it as he usually is! Equally as impressive that the Sandman goes toe to toe with Hoffman and equals his energy. This may be the greatest romance movie ever made (close second is Stolen Kisses by Truffaut). Love this movie to bits.

Bean (1997)

Inside the Mind of Bean

[6/10 · 12 January 2021]

Bean is a fascinatingly dark insight into the life and mishaps of Bean. The portrayal of Bean and the subtle touch of evil they capture behind actor Rowan Atkinsons eyes is eerie, even after multiple watches. Bean tells a story of Mr Bean who stealthily plans to pose and work his way up through the ranks at an esteemed art gallery and gets sent to America in order to harass a family to the brink of insanity, and wreak Havok upon Los Angeles.

Note: If children present, I would advice fast forwarding through the Security Guard Coffee Laxative scene. It truly is disturbing, experiencing the lows Bean reaches to get what he wants.

Avatar (2009)

Incredible

[7/10 · 13 December 2020]

I remember watching Avatar when I was 9 years old and loving it back in 2009. 11 years later I thought I'd revisit it as some people w had been talking about it ironically how it is amazing, etc. And this movie kinda blew me away. We watched the extended cut that tags on 16 minutes of intro before the real film begins and that added a sense of new-ness to the movie. The animation and visuals at times blew me away and made me realize why this movie was such a cultural landmark for cinema. At other times id did look a little bit like a ps3 game where the graphics take a minute to load and everything is smooth without texture. I also forgot about how hard hitting the message of the movie is and how revolutionary AVATAR really is! James Cameron knows how to appeal to a large audience hook people in and show them a message that they cant argue with. Avatar shows us the exploitative nature of Capitalism and the husks of people behind it and how its good to go against the grain of societies order. The main character although some complain that he's not interesting or a good actor works even better for this message as he is clueless and he's 100% on the side of the military and the state and gets convinced ad won over to then lead the revolutionary battle for freedom. He is an unmemorable, plain character than makes a decision to do what's right and that relates to the masses. You don't have to be the most charismatic perfect person to make change. Where Starship Troopers (although satirical) is a movie to promote fascism (again satirical, I love this movie) and authoritarianism, Avatar is our movie to promote the right path we have to take, a path away from capitalism and it cannot be long lasting. (Also its creepy how James Cameron kinda precited Venezuela and still impressive how he Invented all that 3D Technology)

Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)

Heartwarming Bill and Ted Finale

[6/10 · 9 September 2020]

First I'd like to say this is the weakest instalment of the Bill and Ted series but it was a heartwarming conclusion to the lovable dudes. It took a rough opening to get used to the fact that they're old guys but they worked with their age in a way that wasn't awfully obnoxious and cringly like Dumb and Dumber To. The Princess subplot was not rounded out and could have been cut to focus on the main 2 storylines. The low budget CGI shows but it didn't bother me as it came with its charms (i.e. the swat van hitting the souls in hell as it beams back to earth haha) It made me laugh at moments, and had a few very well done emotional scenes. The end was a little too corny but fun. I was satisfied watching a movie with this much heart in 2020. May not be the best Bill and Ted movie but it definitely is the most heartwarming!

Living Soil (2018)

Pretty good

[6/10 · 3 September 2020]

Had to watch this for a Soil Science class, it was a fairly educational documentary, easy to watch and had lots of pretty scenic shots. Dragged at time, a little repetitive but easy on the eyes and took a few interesting facts away from it

Death Wish: The Face of Death (1994)

73 and still kicking ass

[5/10 · 11 August 2020]

After working my way through all 5 death wishes I was surprised by how much I liked the finale. Jammed with action and more gruesome violence and maybe the first villian who truly deserves the Paul Kearsey treatment. Although this movie was more competently made it didn't have the Cannon Golan-Globus charm of 2 and 3 but much more enjoyable than 4! Also a perfect sendoff shot for Bronson.

"If you need me, give me a call"

The Dungeonmaster (1984)

Fun, Genuinely Enjoyable B- movie

[7/10 · 10 August 2020]

I've been buying 4 packs of B movies expecting most of them to be so bad they're good and The Dungeonmaster truely surprised me! It was a fun idea with a lot of creative segments and great practical effects. The Stop motion stone man and the slasher segments were my favorites and the acting and characters were enjoyable! The Hair metal scene was too corny (I see that this is a common problem people have with the movie) overall, not a bad movie by any means, fun and entertaining 80s fantasy! Recommend!