Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV Series)

Kimmy Goes to School! (2015)

Ellie Kemper: Kimmy Schmidt

Quotes 

• Dong Nguyen : Hello. I am Dong.

  Kimmy Schmidt : Hi...

  [snickers] 

  Kimmy Schmidt : ... Dong. I'm Kimmy.

  Dong Nguyen : [snickers]  In Vietnam "kim-mi" means "penis."

• Kimmy Schmidt : Excuse me, Teach? Are we just going to watch a movie again tomorrow?

  Mr. Lefkovitz : Isn't tomorrow Saturday?

  Kimmy Schmidt : It's Tuesday.

  Mr. Lefkovitz : Dammit.

  Kimmy Schmidt : This is important to me. I want to learn real stuff, like why the sky is blue or why tree clams are so delicious. Sorry, on the East Coast you call them "pistachios."

  Mr. Lefkovitz : Look, my teaching style may be unconventional, but...

  [walks out of room] 

• [Kimmy balks at accepting a hug from Titus before her first day of adult education] 

  Titus Andromedon : Don't be embarrassed of your Titus!

  Kimmy Schmidt : What if the other uneducated adults see me?

  Titus Andromedon : Fine. I hope someday when you're a gay black man, you have a Kimmy that treats *you* like this.

  [Kimmy hugs Titus, then walks away into the school] 

  Titus Andromedon : [waving]  I love you! Don't get lice!

• Kimmy Schmidt : Titus, can you do me a favor tomorrow?

  Titus Andromedon : On Martin Luther King's birthday?

  Kimmy Schmidt : I'm not falling for that a fourth time, Titus.

• Kimmy Schmidt : Well, I'm not giving up!

  [she points to a photo of Arthur Ashe] 

  Kimmy Schmidt : Did Frederick Douglass give up when people told him, "You'll never invent peanut butter, pal"? I know all of that's wrong. I see now that he's holding a tennis racket.

• [Kimmy arrives for her first day of school in about fifteen years] 

  Kimmy Schmidt : Well, this is it. I feel like a butterfly bursting from its crystalish and falling from the nest.

  Titus Andromedon : Yeah, you need this education.