The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Raiders Minimization (2013)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
-
Penny : I thought you went to the comic book store on Wednesdays.
Leonard Hofstadter : Uh, yeah, but Sheldon and Amy were having date night, and they don't need me there to make it awkward. They have each other for that.
-
[last lines]
Howard Wolowitz : Wait! Wait! If it wasn't for Indiana Jones, the ark would never have ended up at the warehouse.
Sheldon Cooper : That's true. He collected and delivered the ark to the proper authorities for filing.
Raj Koothrappali : Like a hero!
Leonard Hofstadter , Sheldon Cooper , Howard Wolowitz : Yeah!
Leonard Hofstadter : Although technically Indy was supposed to take the ark to a museum to be studied; he couldn't even get that done.
Leonard Hofstadter , Sheldon Cooper , Howard Wolowitz , Raj Koothrappali : Aw.
Sheldon Cooper : Man.
-
Leonard Hofstadter : So how was school?
Penny : Oh, good. Check it out: 'The Disappointing Child' by Beverly Hofstadter.
Leonard Hofstadter : You bought my mom's book?
Penny : Yeah. It's on the recommended reading list for my psychology class.
Leonard Hofstadter : Aaaw, come on, not that book! I-i-it's got every horrible story from my childhood in it.
Penny : Oh, cool! Are there pictures?
Leonard Hofstadter : Seriously, please find another book.
Penny : Oh, c'mon, why? How bad could it be?
Leonard Hofstadter : There's chapters about the potty-training... bed-wetting... masturbation. Basically, if something came out of me she wrote about it! Y'know what, do whatever you want. Just don't talk to me about it.
Penny : Not even the chapter on the breast-feeding crisis?
Leonard Hofstadter : It was not a crisis. Apparently I favored the left one; she got a little lop-sided.
Penny : Oh my God! You still go left!
-
Penny : Why are you so angry?
Leonard Hofstadter : Gee, I don't know; maybe it's because I was always the subject of her little experiments. Did you get to the chapter where she staged the Easter egg hunt with no eggs to see how long I'd keep looking?
[Penny shakes her head]
Leonard Hofstadter : The answer, by the way, June!
Penny : Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better.
Leonard Hofstadter : I do too, but there's not.
Penny : Really? Are you sure about that?
[she hugs him and kisses his neck]
-
Leonard Hofstadter : [entering Penny's apartment] Hey I was just... what is happening?
Penny : [Penny dressed in a nightie] Oh, just a little treat. I know you've been feeling really bad about your Mom lately.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, oh, I have. So bad.
Penny : And I wanted to make you to feel better. So I planned something very special for you.
Leonard Hofstadter : I can already feel it working.
[he starts to drop his pants]
Beverly Hofstadter : [Penny turns her laptop around and there is Beverly Hofstadter] Hello, Leonard!
Leonard Hofstadter : [he hurriedly puts his pants back on] Mom?
Beverly Hofstadter : I understand you have been whining about my parenting in order to emotionally manipulate your girlfriend.
Leonard Hofstadter : I, uhhh.
Penny : Bernadette told me everything. Now you don't get the left or the right.
[referring to the running joke about his preference for the left in breast-feeding as a child]
Beverly Hofstadter : [Penny leaves the room] Let's discuss why you continue to involve me in your sex life.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh please, mommy. No, mommyyyyy.
Beverly Hofstadter : When you were six years old you walked in on me and your father naked. I was swatting his bottom with your brand new ping pong paddle.
Leonard Hofstadter : I didn't dream that?
Beverly Hofstadter : How did that make you feel?
Leonard Hofstadter : Penny, come back! I'm sad for real now.
-
Sheldon Cooper : Hang on. You spend time with Amy. Can you think of anything she's fond of that has a bunch of flaws that she hasn't noticed?
Leonard Hofstadter : I gotta go.
-
Howard Wolowitz : Wow. Sex at work!
Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, leave it alone; that's my girlfriend...
Howard Wolowitz : Sorry.
Leonard Hofstadter : WHO JUST HAD SEX WITH ME AT WORK!
Howard Wolowitz : Damn, how'd you swing that?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, whenever I talk about how awful my Mom was, Penny will do anything to make me feel better.
Howard Wolowitz : Seriously?
Leonard Hofstadter : I'm not proud of it, but it does work.