Here we see a story about two gay hunks who just don't get along from their very first date. And all along to near the end of the movie, all we see is more and more evidence of why these two fellows ARE NOT meant for each other. But then something magically changes. There was some sort of mental turning point, the likes of which I can't even remember...probably because it just didn't make sense....and walla!!! They end up in bed and best of buds. Hmmmmm.....if the two leads weren't somewhat manly and attractive, this movie would have been a complete waste of everyone's money. Acting was alright, but needed quite a few retakes.
7 Reviews
Awful
Jey0479 July 2014
Warning: Spoilers
This may be the worst gay-themed movie ever made - which is saying a lot. I usually try to give lgbt movies a little leeway, because they often are small budget affairs. But this movie was unbearable. I gave up just short of 15 minutes in because I couldn't take it any more. The actors are fair, at best, but the characters are terrible, stereotypical and annoying. The writer and/or director didn't take the time to make the characters likable and important to us before they showed us the negative and unlikeable side of the characters. When the two leads started to argue, the dialogue was so bad and the delivery so poor, that I had to bail. the director and writer are so in your face and beating you over the head with their message, that they didn't take any time to develop the characters and build to their point. This is the first time I haven't been able to finish watching a gay-themed movie. sad.
Awful doesn't begin to describe this movie
carter-d-30-30286217 June 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I'm pretty sure the whole movie could have been cut down to 30 minutes, maybe less. At the risk of spoiling the movie, not even saltwater can fix this movie. I'd recommend taking a stimulant before you watch this because otherwise you'll find yourself asleep in no time. I had hope for the movie because it started off with a playful dialog and almost genuine attraction between the two main characters. But that quickly spiraled into the same basic scene over and over again. It was like watching Groundhog Day, but with worse acting. I've never seen any of the actors in this movie, and now I know why. And the tall almost "giant-looking" Australian? No, no, and no. Either there's something wrong with him or he was smirking throughout the entire movie. Not a good look in a movie that deals with a very real and tragic thing like suicide.
Saltwater...can't do enough to rinse my eyes from this trash
Coralknight8 September 2016
As has already been said, this is one movie that just should not be watched...for any reason (including and ESPECIALLY those who had the bad decision-making skills to participate in it). There is just nothing remotely original or redeeming about this movie at all. The dialogue is beyond cliché and contrived, the entire premise is is as bland as a fossilized ritz cracker found behind a sofa, and in the digital age, one should at be able to count on a filmography at least as good as a video uploaded by housewife on youtube (no such luck here). From the very beginning, none of the characters come off as remotely believable or likable, so there is just no reason to be vested in this train-wreck. Yes, bury all copies of this deep at sea under fathoms and fathoms of saltwater to save humanity the trouble.
Timing is Everything
Bayamon_Hill10 August 2013
Warning: Spoilers
'Saltwater' is a film about two guys who just can't seem to get their stars aligned and be together, until something grave occurs which makes all of their hemming and hawing trivial. The problem with the movie is the two characters don't really get together(SPOILER!)until the last two minutes of the movie. Until then, we, the audience, are subjected to endless encounters with misunderstandings, hesitations, wrong-headed judgments and bad decisions. Although the movie has a bevy of characters screaming for development, they all seemed wrapped up in whether the two protagonists will ever get together. I applaud the makers of this film for choosing actors who are well into their thirties and beyond, and for making supporting characters who are believable and likable. The '6' comes from stringing the audience along for as long as possible for the flimsiest of pay-offs. And realistically, I don't know if two guys would hesitate at trying to date for almost a year. It stretches belief a little to far.
Don't waste your time
doblebarra26 July 2015
Warning: Spoilers
This may be the worst gay-themed movie of that year and of the century. Acting is really bad, like amateur-teenage-high school-production bad. There is no spark between the main couple and one of the actors can express nothing with his face, you would not know if he is happy, sad or angry if you did not have audio on. I can't believe he is still getting acting jobs. The rest of them are not far behind though. Story is so predictable, simple and of such a low quality that it hurts. The characters are shallow and badly created. You can't see anything apart from some random people that try to create a dramatic story and ends up being embarrassing. The script... for God's sake, so unnatural, unrealistic and bad delivered!
Ok. Hear me out...
scotrep11 March 2024
Was it cheap? Yes.
Was it lacking atmosphere? Yes.
Would it have worked without cute leads? No.
Was it bad storytelling? No!
Ok. This was a hard watch because it was so stilted. BUT! The story and context are 100% realistic (give or take). The bedroom scene 'after' the night before was spot on! And it felt natural and genuine. I've been in those situations before and I thought it was well portrayed.
I liked the story and the main actors. The general acting and flow was terrible. But it spoke to me 🤷♂️
As a gay man...both actors were hot. Yes, it does help. So call me shallow 🤷♂️ The main character was lovely and his acting wasn't too bad. I felt myself quite liking him! I liked it.
Was it lacking atmosphere? Yes.
Would it have worked without cute leads? No.
Was it bad storytelling? No!
Ok. This was a hard watch because it was so stilted. BUT! The story and context are 100% realistic (give or take). The bedroom scene 'after' the night before was spot on! And it felt natural and genuine. I've been in those situations before and I thought it was well portrayed.
I liked the story and the main actors. The general acting and flow was terrible. But it spoke to me 🤷♂️
As a gay man...both actors were hot. Yes, it does help. So call me shallow 🤷♂️ The main character was lovely and his acting wasn't too bad. I felt myself quite liking him! I liked it.
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