Coven (2023) Poster

(2023)

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1/10
Disappointing, to say the least.
LaughingTigerIMDb27 November 2023
There seems to be this draw to witchcraft these days that makes a girl just want to dress up in black, pierce her nose, and do what she can to make her feel different and special with reasons backing it up.

That's what this documentary captures, although I'm sure that wasn't the intent.

Somehow, the filmmaker focused on three women from the Toronto area who claim to be witches, or else want to find a way to validate their witch-feelings. I'm sure the idea was to celebrate female power, show beautiful sunsets, and of course, the obligatory strolls through forests and the caressing of tree trunks to make for some beautiful videography.

All this documentary really did was further stuff the stereotype of modern witchcraft into a place that attracts lonely and confused women into finding themselves, using typical language like "connecting" in order for it to all make sense.

It wouldn't be right not to include moments where two of them talk about their past lives, and naturally, one believes she is actually the famous Russian writer Helena Blavatsky and another to have become her 7th great-grandmother reincarnate who was a Salem witch, tried and hanged in 1692. (What are the odds?)

Look. Visually speaking, this documentary is lovely to watch and listen to. All the right shots of the scenery, the old villages, and the peaceful, thoughtful strolls through nature, along with perfectly timed dark, sad cellos playing (and an enhanced sound effect when blowing out a candle) would be magic to any viewer enchanted by witchcraft. We visit Scotland, Romania, and New Orleans. For someone who doesn't understand witchcraft, these are considered the most spiritual places on earth.

But the truth about witchcraft is never talked about here. In fact, I think it was meant to be avoided, because much of it would be too boring for a horror fan, and those into creepy things, just as one of the participants has admitted, and another showing a skull within her knick-knacks at home.

Witchcraft is highly dramatized here as being the way to step away from society's norm and be different, mysterious, and special...all the while clinging dearly to reasons why.

I don't want to get too highly critical of the choice of women who were subjects in this documentary, but let's just say they all had the same sense of longing to connect and to somehow prove to the audience that they are witches for a reason.

The supporting cast is worse.

A Gardnerian high priestess named Anne Marie Greymoon interviews Laura and Andra about initiating them, and asks the question: "How do you feel about drugs?" and "How do you feel about being nude around men and women?" feeling out their responses as they are intended to be requirements. Those who understand witchcraft, know that Wicca is a new-age hippie religion created in the 20th century, that has little to do with actual witchcraft, so their rules and expectations are simply bizarre, nothing more.

Andra then goes to Romania to meet the self-described most powerful witch in the world, Mihaela Minca, who strangely explains she's been given gifts by the grace of God. She's everything you'd expect, a throaty, boastful woman with long red nails doing little more than walking through clouds of incense and using exaggerated gesturing while wearing traditional Romani clothing, reminding Andra with ferocity to tell all that she met the most powerful witch in the world. One who has a billboard displayed firmly outside her place of practice, advertising her Facebook and Whatsapp information, not that witchcraft is a business or anything. (Sarcasm)

Laura also meets Sandra Mariah Wright, who once went by the name Sandra Mariah Power and was featured in a different show whereby her use of the ouija board was hilariously debunked. We meet her again, this time, lighting candles and paying solemn tribute to her relative who was hanged in Salem three hundred years earlier.

Just in case the message of spirituality and connection to nature wasn't clear, there is an amusing shot of Andra lying on the ground in a clearing in the forest, starfished out, with a drone looking down at her, showing her arms and legs spread out as it zooms out to also capture a nice shot of some Romanian scenery. So spiritual.

I do feel a bit bad for these three women, but at the same time, they truly seem like this is what they wanted. To feel special, different, and validated for being witches - during a time with we are privileged to be practicing witchcraft without fearing our lives. Now it's an identity that people wear to show their uniqueness, all the while, not even knowing what or why they're practicing it. This documentary captures the stereotype whether they meant to or not. Because an actual documentary about real witchcraft and real witches would likely disappoint most people for being (gasp!) too normal.
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