Bob's Burgers (TV Series)

Torpedo (2011)

H. Jon Benjamin: Bob Belcher

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tina : Mr. Fischoeder owns the team?

  Bob : And the park and all of Wonder Wharf.

  Louise : I'm gonna marry that man.

  Bob : No, you're not.

  Louise : I wanna be rich!

• Mr. Fischoeder : People go to baseball games for the same reason people go to the amusement park: To be entertained! Do people care if the games are rigged? No!

  Bob : Wait, the games are rigged?

  Mr. Fischoeder : Yes!

• Gene : I think more people would see your ad if it was on a urinal cake.

  Bob : I wish I could afford a urinal cake ad.

• Bob : [after the roller-coaster collapses]  See, Gene? This is what happens when you cheat.

  Gene : That was incredible! Cheating is amazing!

• Bob : Linda, Torpedo Jones said he liked my burger! I want that on my tombstone. Seriously, I do.

  Linda : Oh, honey. I already picked out what it'll say on your tombstone.

  Bob : What?

  Linda : It'll say "Order up."

  Bob : I like that. Let's go with that.

• Louise : I think I speak for everyone my age when I ask, "What's a Torpedo Jones?"

  Bob : What's a Torpedo Jones? He was only the...

  Gene : We don't care!

  Bob : Gene, will you let me finish? Nobody could pitch like...

  Gene : This is the very thing I was trying to prevent.

• Bob : You don't hold your... when you pee.

  Mr. Fischoeder : Why? It's not going anywhere.

• Mr. Fischoeder : Oh, my Wonder Dog is hanging out.

  Bob : Yes. Yes it is.

  Mr. Fischoeder : I got so caught up in the conversation that I forgot to zip.

  Bob : I didn't want to say anything.

  Mr. Fischoeder : Why not? Compliments are welcome. Where was I?

  Bob : You were saying the games were rigged.

  Mr. Fischoeder : Yes. The games are all rigged.

• Mr. Fischoeder : Roller coasters come and go. But Bobs are once in a lifetime. I admire you.

  Bob : You do?

  Mr. Fischoeder : You remind me of my father. He was honest and he worked hard. You an immigrant, Bob?

  Bob : No.

  Mr. Fischoeder : Just swarthy?

  Bob : I guess.

• Bob : Um, well, what if you found out that someone you knew was doing something sort of bad, and you were helping them do that sort of thing...

  Mr. Fischoeder : Is it me? Is it abortions?

  Bob : Wait, what?

  Mr. Fischoeder : Uh, what were you saying?