Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer (2010)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Charlie Harper : [On the phone]  Hi, I'm watching your commercial, "Cash for Gold". You just showed a woman selling her wedding ring for $500. No, I don't want to sell gold, I wanna meet that woman! She's hot, and we know her marriage isn't working out!

• Alan Harper : Lyndsey told me she loves me tonight.

  Charlie Harper : Really? What did you say?

  Alan Harper : What could I say? I love you, too!

  Charlie Harper : Do you love her?

  Alan Harper : Yeah, sure! What's not to love?

  Charlie Harper : I don't know. Her mood swings. Her idiot teenage son. And the fact that you need a muscle relaxer, a bottle of wine and a jackhammer to get her off.

  Alan Harper : Hey! I told you about that in confidence!

  Charlie Harper : Who else is here? The same two people know!

• Charlie Harper : Everybody's got a little baggage. I drink and try to mouth-kiss hookers. You? You're cheap, annoying and no one likes you!