The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Zazzy Substitution (2010)

Mayim Bialik: Amy Farrah Fowler

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penny : Hey Look, it's Shamy.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Shamy?

  Sheldon Cooper : Juvenile amalgamation of our names. Sheldon, Amy. Shamy.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh. I don't like that. Don't do that.

  Penny : [laughing nervously]  All righty. What's new?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Well, just recently I learned that you refer to us as Shamy, and I don't like that.

  Penny : I got that. What I was going for was, you know, how is your life?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Just like everyone else's. Subject to entropy, decay, and eventual death. Thank you for asking.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : Perhaps it would be kinder to play a game more suited to his abilities. We'll close our eyes and count to ten while you hide.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I'm going to my room.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Very good, Leonard. But next time, don't tell us where you're hiding.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : In a world where rhinoceroses are domesticated pets, who wins the Second World War?

  Sheldon Cooper : Uganda.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Defend.

  Sheldon Cooper : Kenya rises to power on the export of rhinoceroses. A central African power block is formed, colonizing North Africa and Europe. When war breaks out, no one can afford the luxury of a rhino. Kenya withers, Uganda triumphs.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Correct. My turn.

  Sheldon Cooper : In a world where a piano is a weapon, not a musical instrument, on what does Scott Joplin play the "Maple Leaf Rag"?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Tuned bayonets.

  Sheldon Cooper : Defend.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Isn't it obvious?

  Sheldon Cooper : You're right. My apologies.

  Leonard Hofstadter : What the hell are you guys playing?

• Amy Farrah Fowler : I love cats. They're the epitome of indifference.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : I'm curious as to why we're not eating alone.

  Sheldon Cooper : They can't function without me. I'm the social glue that holds this little group together.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : Absolutely not. My colleagues and I are mapping the neurological substrates that subserve global information processing, which is required for all cognitive reasoning, including scientific inquiry, making my research ipso facto prior in the ordo cognoscendi. That means it's better than his research, and by extension, of course, yours.

• Sheldon Cooper : I brought Amy here to show her some of the work I'm doing.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : It's very impressive, for theoretical work.

  Sheldon Cooper : Do I detect a hint of condescension?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : I'm sorry. Was I being too subtle? I meant compared to the real-world applications of neurobiology, theoretical physics is, what's the word I'm looking for? Hmm, cute.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : Why is she not taking our order?

  Sheldon Cooper : I should have warned you. One has to navigate a labyrinth of social nonsense before one can be fed here.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Really? I assumed an establishment called the Cheesecake Factory would function more efficiently.

  Sheldon Cooper : It's how they lure you in. I believe it's called bait and switch

• Leonard Hofstadter : So, this is nice. First time we've all gotten together to eat.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : [to Sheldon]  You're right. He's a festival of humdrum chit-chat.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, that's all I got. Howard, you're up.

  Howard Wolowitz : Um, tell us about your work, Amy.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : I doubt you'd understand. Sheldon tells me you only have a master's degree.

• Sheldon Cooper : Are you suggesting the work of a neurobiologist, like Babinski could ever rise to the significance of a physicist, like Clerk Maxwell or Dirac?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : I'm stating it outright. Babinski eats Dirac for breakfast and defecates Clerk Maxwell.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : Your mother thinks you might be losing your mind over me. As a neurobiologist, I was curious.

• Sheldon Cooper : In a world where mankind is ruled by a giant intelligent beaver, what food is no longer consumed?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Uh... a BLT where the B stands for beaver? I don't know.

  Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, be serious. We're playing a game here.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I can figure this out, let's see. Um... well, beavers eat tree bark. The only tree bark I know that humans consume is cinnamon, so I'll say cinnamon.

  Sheldon Cooper : Incorrect. Obviously, the answer is cheese Danish.

  Leonard Hofstadter : What?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : In a world ruled by a giant beaver, mankind builds many dams to please the beaver overlord. The low-lying city of Copenhagen is flooded, thousands die. Devastated, the Danes never invent their namesake pastry. How does one miss that?