Chanbara Beauty: The Movie - Vortex (2009 Video) User Reviews

Some things just can't be saved

[Heislegend · 4/10 · 28 December 2009]

Let's not pretend why you watched this movie. I defy ANYONE to show me a movie that can't be improved by a cute Japanese girl dressed in little more than her underwear, a feather boa, and cowboy hat...with katanas. Yeah, I'm pretty sure if they'd thrown a character like that into Citizen Kane I might just agree with all those people who say it's the best movie ever made (it's not). And if said Japanese girl is, let's just say "well built", then all the better. So how bad does a movie have to be that all of this eye candy can't even save it? I don't know, but the Onechanbara sequel figured it out.

I actually liked the first Onechanbara. The action was better, the lead girl was cuter, and the story wasn't complete nonsense (close, but not complete). The plot is basically watching the lead "actress" jiggle and fight her way through hoards of zombies. I know that sounds like epic fun, but it's just not in this case. When a buxom Asian girl killing zombies with samurai swords cannot hold my attention, something is very, very wrong. I also cannot underestimate how annoying the whole "blood spatter on the camera" gets in this movie. Use it once or twice for effect...that's fine. But, if memory serves, it happens in EVERY fight scene in this movie and usually more than once. The whole thing is just a mess that not even your (and my) rather juvenile male desire for ridiculous amounts of eye candy can make excuses for. On the other hand, there's a certain honesty to this. Let's face it, this is precisely what Hollywood would love to do with every female action heroine. They just don't have the balls. Oh well...after watching this I'm thinking it's possible that may be a good thing.

Ditch this nonsense. Unless you have a thing for disjointed, annoying, and useless Japanese cinema (which is totally possible). Then by all means, watch away.

Quite bad sequel. And i am a fan of the first one!

[Methaller · 4/10 · 10 December 2009]

I was happy and excited to have the opportunity to put my hands on this title,because i am a real fan of the first Onechanbara movie. I am a b-movie lover and a japan trash-splatter fan...but let me explain,i am not blind,so i don't think the first episode is a masterpiece,it have some problems,but i give to the first Onechanbara a vote of 7 without any problem,but the second one is a mess!

The plot is kinda recycled from the first episode,the acting is awful (i remember some facial expression of Eri Otoguro,Aya in the first movie,and she was really nice! and all the past cast's acting was quite good,but in this one,god...i can't save anyone really!). The duels are bad too...always confused, and with a lot of stupid computer-blood on screen anytime,really annoying.

So...worst plot,worst acting,worst duels......worst sequel! Long life to the first episode,but sadly i say the second one sucked!

Desire for immortality drives the plot, not zombies.

[suite92 · 4/10 · 14 December 2013]

Derived from a related video game. Further, this is a sequel to the 2006 film, Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad. We're pretty far down the road of turning the original concepts into mush.

The setting is post zombie apocalypse in Japan. Zombie hunting sisters Aya and Saki lost their parents to kidnappers when they quite young, and somehow stayed alive to late teen and young adult ages. They hear of a group led by Himiko, and a supposed method for bringing their parents back to life.

Saki is much more into the quest, and goes directly to meet Himiko. Aya follows with Ryo, a young man from a zombie killer group they met along the way. Aya and Ryo discuss 'Imchi blood' while walking. When blood touches someone with Imchi blood, they become uncontrollable killing machines who slaughter friend and foe alike. Himiko's target group is interested in obtaining Imchi blood.

Saki shifted allegiance to the group who kidnapped her parents, since she still believes they can be revived. She has found their corpses, and the group has done some rituals with her blood.

During the conflicts, Himiko reveals that her use of Saki's blood was merely to fuel Himiko's desire for immortality. Saki shifts allegiance back to her sister, and abandons the false hope of resurrection.

Will the sisters survive? Will Himiko be put down permanently?

-------Scores--------

Cinematography: 3/10 Has the same sort of stylized ugly as Sin City, only not as well done. The 'blood on the lens' effect is way over used. Many of the images are washed out by flare and overexposure artifacts. Overall, colour seems to be washed out. Many passages are in grey and red: neither in colour nor in black and white.

Sound: 3/10 Amazingly irritating. The background music volume level is generally much higher than that of the conversation. The choice of music is rather like bad techno music from the 1970s.

Acting: 4/10 Saki dresses in a sailor suit. Aya dresses in a costume reminiscent of Motoko Kusungai (草薙 素子) of Ghost in the Shell. It is difficult to put much credence in such characters, and those two characters dominate the film.

Screenplay: 2/10 Himiko wants to live forever by obtaining special blood from Aya and Saki. All the rest is filler. Looks like about 10 minutes of plot stretched over 88 minutes.

B-movie zombie pack: 4/10

Gore: 5/5 There is a lot of it, anyway.

Zombie speed: fast

Zombie appearance: 2/5 This is incredibly variable. Some zombies have almost no makeup, others have detailed makeup. Go figure.

Zombie deaths 1/5: look suspiciously like vampire deaths in True Blood: solid bodies transform into constellations of blood spheres that immediately fall and splatter.

Zombie relevance: 0/5 in this film, zombies are only an extra danger, and the cause of a lot of fighting. The plot driver is Saki's desire to have her parents resurrected from the dead.

Only in Japan...

[georgeislive21 · 2/10 · 29 December 2013]

A trio of Japanese schoolgirls wages war against zombies galore. Much mayhem ensues. Disturbing titillation from a culture fixated on all things underage.

PROS: I supposed some people will get off on the zombie carnage, but there's little here that hasn't been seen before. Most will tire of the endless CGI blood, which wears out its welcome faster than you would think. The only real addition is having the zombie war fought by nubile schoolgirls (including one in a fur rimmed bikini).

CONS: Too many to mention, but let's start with this: why is it acceptable for a culture, any culture, to fixate on schoolgirls? The Japanese seem to have made a cottage industry out of it. Call it manga; call it camp. This is barely disguised child porn. It's loud and bloody and over-the-top ridiculous, none of which are excuses for fetishizing underage girls in the manner it does. I turned it off ten minutes in, but watched the ending to make sure there wasn't a socially redeeming message. I needn't have worried.

a bit better then part 1

[trashgang · 7/10 · 29 September 2011]

Not liking part 1 it's strange that I liked part 2 referring to other reviewers. I must agree that there is again a lot of CGI, for example the use of CGI blood or even CGI zombies and that's the worst part of Oneechanbara part 2. It's funny to see the blood splatter on screen but after a while it's a bit annoying. The story follows the line of part 1 and is okay to follow even if you haven't seen part 1. Personally I didn't had any trouble with the acting, strangely non of the original actors are in this part. It's all a bit more sexier, and it starts even with nudity, there are more close-ups of the bikini's but that I don't mind. Also as in part 1 the fight scene at the end is a bit too long and naturally the fighting used in the game or as in so many Eastern flicks is watchable too. For me better than part 1 but almost no real red stuff in it or exaggerated gore used in HK3 flicks. Not for gorehounds only for people who likes fighting chicks with bikini's a size to small.

SISTER ACT

[nogodnomasters · 6/10 · 17 December 2018]

This is a zombie movie based on a video game. There isn't much plot, just blood. Aya (bikini girl on cover) and her half sister Saki (school girl outfit) go after the Himiko, the zombie leader. Saki co-operates with Himiko so she can resurrect her dead parents.

The zombies are of various degrees with Himiko looking and talking like a normal person. Most are foot dragging zombies who suddenly engage in various marshal arts when they attack. Aya goes into a berserker mode when she gets blood on her, although she is covered with dried blood for much of the film. The sword play and blood splatter had that "Kill Bill" feel to it, but in all honesty the movie doesn't measure up.

English subtitles.

Parental Guide: No f-bombs, sex, or nudity. Just pretty girls killing zombies.

A "B" (well maybe more of a "C") Movie

[rickrudge · 6/10 · 26 September 2020]

Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad (2009) (aka: Oneechanbara the Movie - Vortex)

It's simply a Japanese Zombie picture with a lot of family drama thrown in, but is based on an Xbox and Playstation game. It has okay dubbing for such a low budget horror flick. It's probably rated R for flashing a little breast and a lot of blood.

Aya Imichi (Eri Otoguro) is the sword wielding, cowboy hat and bikini wearing protagonist that is out to get her sister, Saki (Nao Takamori). Aya is traveling with her heavyset sidekick, Katsuji (Tomohiro Waki), who is sort of the comic relief and voice of reason in a crazy zombie environment. In their travels they meet Reiko (Manami Hashimoto), a leather-clad gun slinger, who never seems to need to reload.

Their destination is the mad scientist, Dr. Sugita's (Taro Suwa) lair where he has tried to regenerate life, but seems to always come up with creating zombies. Naturally, there's lots of fighting and sword action that you would expect.